The light of the faraway sun behind the three IPA-2S Ifrit Space Type Battlesuits illuminated the burnished crimson lines crisscrossing the backsides of the mechs, though it was quite thoroughly overshadowed -- or over-lighted -- by the hot glow of their propulsion jets.   The faint pinpoints of light from stars in front of the trio glinted off silvery letter E`s, placed on the right breast of each suit.

"Sanctuary Prime, this is Echo II.   We are on approach to target, over."

The voice that answered gave a small yelp of excitement first, then replied angrily:

"It`s about time you three called in, Fatty.   We`ve been rather concerned about you, I`ll have you know."

"Fuckin` A, we been holdin` fuckin` radio silence in case this thing is hostile!   Took us fuckin` forever to find it with all these fuckin` asteroids out here, too!   So give us a fuckin` break!"

"Cool it, Fatty.   Sanctuary Prime, this is Echo I, target appears to be large space flotsam, no signs of movement or hostility detected."

"Roger that, Talon, proceed with mission.   You have permission to salvage if possible."

"Roger, Prime, Echo I out.   How`re you holding back there on your first real mission, Rookie?"

"I`m doing all right, thanks."

"I was wondering if you`d fallen asleep or something back there.   I expected you`d be all over the place, wanting to show us what you know."

"I...   I do have a name, Talon."

"Oh, yeah.   Sorry, Rookie.   I mean," he coughed officiously and Fatty started laughing, "Private Ranna Sforza.   I got that right, yes?"

"Yes, that`s right..."

"It`s standard fuckin` procedure, y`know," Fatty cut in.   "You`re `Rookie` until we give your name."

"Well, if you don`t mind me asking...   However did you end up with a name like `Fatty`?"

"You`ve never seen him at mess, have you, Rookie?   The man eats more than he swears."

"As skinny as he is?   I find that both hard to believe and quite enviable."

"Yeah, yeah, I`ve got the metabolism of a pygmy Rabite.   What about you, huh?   I`d heard Nekos had some religious taboo against going into space or something.   How come you`re here?"

"Well...   I dunno.   It just seemed like the thing to do, really.   My birth parents were killed when I was young.   I hardly remember them anymore.   My foster parents are human...   I guess they were good parents and all."

"So you`re more like humans, then?   Not having been raised in your race`s culture, I mean."

"Yeah, I guess..."

Fatty snorted.   "Well, now that this beautiful fuckin` story the whole family will enjoy is over, perhaps we can fuckin` get back to our mission. The fuckin` target`s in sight, let`s rock."   There was a pause, and Fatty sounded quite perturbed when he spoke next.   "Talon...   Hey man, what`s your readout lookin` like?   I`m just wonderin` over here, since this thing completely can`t be what my sensors are tellin` me it is."

"What?   What are you...?   Whoa.   Rookie, are you seeing what I`m seeing?"

"It...   It`s a semi truck...   Isn`t it?"

It was, in fact, a semi truck, carelessly drifting away from their position at a very slow rate of speed.   The trailer of said truck, though slightly dented from pressure differences, still bore the recognizable logo of the Diamond Corporation.

"What the fuck`s a fuckin` semi truck doin` in the middle of outer fuckin` space?"   Fatty`s outburst spoke for them all.

"Do you think... maybe there was an explosion on the surface?   Something that propelled it past Sanctuary`s gravitational pull?"

"I thought you were supposed to be a math whiz, Rookie; maybe you should hit the books again.   No simple explosion would have enough force to blast a truck up here.   Besides, there aren`t any signs of scorching that I`m picking up."

"I can kinda see it now, Talon, looks like the fuckin` cab`s imploded."

"That`s to be expected.   We should go ahead and attach cables, tow it back to Prime.   They can take a look at whatever is inside."

A hideous, screeching laughter sounded from out of nowhere.

"Ha-ha!   That`s where you`re wrong, mecha-fools!"   The voice came over their radios as irregularities in a field of static.

"Who said that?   Identify yourself!"

"Dr. Feelgood never ever ever identifies himself to his enemies, oh, no no no!"   The voice paused.   "Wait, drat, I just did, didn`t I?   I always do that, what`s wrong with me?   Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

"Who...   is this guy?"

"I have no idea, Rookie."

"Enemies, huh?   Well, we`ll see about that.   Show yourself, ya fuckin` loony!"

A figured appeared, perched on the roof of the semi trailer.   Two things about it were readily unusual.   First was its seeming immunity to the effects of space on living flesh.   The second was its clothing: a single piece of shiny material that covered it from head to toe, yet left numerous areas of the face and hands unprotected.   The suit shimmered, reflecting the coruscating lights of myriad stars that glimmered around the four.

"Here I am!   I, yes, the finder of this truck!   Finders keepers!   And what was inside, oh-oh!   Yes, the super-suit, amazing, is it not?   I am now truly the Czar of Space!   And now they are both MINE!   You cannot have them, no!   So bugger off!"

"Listen, we didn`t come out here to fight you.   Just calm down a second and we can ta..."

And that was when Fatty`s Ifrit exploded.

"Holy...   Fatty!   Damn you..."   The epithet fell from Talon`s lips as he saw what had attacked them.   "Oh no...   That`s a Seraphim...   Rookie, run!   RUN!   GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOW!"

The object moving into view at that moment was, in fact, a Seraphim.   To be exact, it was the upper half of the torso, along with the arms and head.   More realistically, it was the part that made things go boom, and a second salvo of missiles was headed in their direction.   Ranna needed no second urging to about-face and jam on her propulsion boosters.   Talon followed close behind, though he moved deliberately slower.

"Wahahaha!   Can`t escape from Dr. Feelgood now, can you, combat cretins?   Taste the hot and spicy casserole of death cooked up by my new friend!   Prepare to meet a chewy death with a soft doom nougat center!"

The horrid, screeching laughter and even worse dialogue continued to pour from their speakers as their assailant, attached to the Seraphim husk by a long metal cord emerging from his suit, followed after them.   The Seraphim remnants apparently still had some sort of movement capability, and the shell towed the doctor behind it like a young child dragging a doll to school, albeit a quite mad and slightly evil doll, filled with murderous intent.

The area of space they were in was not usually known for having so many asteroids, but at this moment, that was not their concern.   Missiles whipped past the two Ifrit pilots one after another, and the chunks of space rock were the only things keeping them all from finding their marks in the fleeing mecha.   Ranna, travelling at full speed, was having difficulty avoiding both the attacks behind her and the debris in front of her.

"Talon... help!   You`re gonna get killed if you stay back there..."

Talon, looking ahead, noticed a particularly large rock in the middle of the field, one surrounded by a veritable cloud of smaller asteroids; the perfect spot for ambushing.

"Rookie, listen to me.   We`ve got to lead him to that asteroid, the big one there, or neither of us will survive."

"But..."

"No time for questions, just go!   I don`t know where he got that Seraphim, but even half of one of those things is more than a match for our mechs!   Just get behind that rock if you can, I`ll try to keep him distracted."

The distance from their position to the asteroid in question was not a large one, and grew smaller with each passing second, yet it seemed an interminable amount of time before Talon reached its outer proximity.   He had discovered that his adversary was quite single-minded, however.   No matter which way he juked or dodged, the Seraphim and its carry-on passenger were always right behind him.   He was even able to circle one of the larger rocks, with the Seraphim never deviating from following him.   Talon smiled to himself.   At least something was going well.

"Prepare to meet your doom, odorous space cadets from beyond!"

Now, as the largest rock grew in size in his forward view, Talon kept his eyes glued to the enemy chasing after him.   The Doctor had opened up with vulcan cannon fire, and Talon`s battlesuit received numerous hits, though none of them serious as of yet.   His only degree of satisfaction was that he was drawing all the fire, and the Rookie had made it to a safer spot behind the asteroid.   He slowed his battlesuit, turning to face his adversary and extending the blades from his mech`s arms.

"This ends now," he said to himself.   "Rookie, I hope you`re ready for this."   His jets accelerated fully and he charged straight for the Seraphim.

"You fool!   You loser!   You moron!   You bubble-headed noody pie with sour cream!" Dr. Feelgood screamed.   "You can`t defeat my lovely lovely new pet with tiny sticks such as those!   You`re doomed!"

As Talon`s mech shuddered, peppered by a new volley of vulcan cannon fire.   He swerved to the right, successfully keeping Dr. Feelgood`s attention the entire time.   Now, as he drew to within two swordlengths of the opposing mech, he killed his thrusters, quickly redirecting them upward and striking out at the Seraphim.  

"Hahaha, you see what I mean?!   I shall puncture you full of holes, not unlike some kind of moldy cheese!   You are not worth the scum growing on the chewing gum stuck on the bottom of a beggar`s boot!   You are once again doomed, doomed, do you hear me? Doom doom doom doom doom..."

At the same moment, Ranna, unseen by the Doctor during his tirade, emerged from behind the asteroid, charged him with her sword drawn, and sliced neatly through the cord connecting man and machine.   The raucous laughter pouring in through their radios was silenced in a final blast of static.   And as he slowly began to drift off into space, Dr. Feelgood first stared at them, his mouth moving but producing no sounds.   His fists clench and began to quake; then he positively went into paroxysms of rage.   It worked pretty well in space; he had no problems flailing all four limbs at once as he slowly began to drift back through the corridor of asteroids they had so recently chased down.

"Good job, Tiger, I knew you`d pull through."

"Talon...   That guy, he just...   He killed Fatty!   Right in front of us!   And for what?   Just a truck and some suit..."

"Kiddo, this won`t be the last time you have to deal with a comrade being killed in front of your eyes.   It`s a hard lesson for your first real trip off-planet, but...   The best thing right now is to head back to base and make our report.   After that, we can greive.   I`ll have to inform Fatty`s folks, too.   As for the truck, and that suit..." Talon growled.   "We`ll let Diamond do their own fucking salvage."

There was a prolonged silence as the two Ifrits turned to face Sanctuary and began to move back towards it.

"...Talon?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not calling me `Rookie` anymore."

"Heh.   No problem, Tiger."