A Little Company War
A Play in 3 Acts
By Rawley Cooper


The Cast:

RONHOLM:   Cedric Ronholm is the CEO and founder of Ronholm Engines
MRS WITISHAM:   Cynthia Witisham has been RONHOLM’s personal secretary for many years.
VELMA: Velma Boatman is a top executive at Ronholm Engines and works mainly as RONHOLM`s troubleshooter.
MARY:   Mary Pitchard also an executive at Ronholm Engines and works closely with VELMA
TT:   Toby Troy Ronholm is RONHOLM’s eldest son and Chief of Staff for Liz Pompey, Senator representing Asimov in the Tasnica Senate
PAUL:   Paul Ronholm is RONHOLM’s younger son and a playboy, into extreme sports and parties.
SHANDLER: Winston Shandler, also known as “The Shark” is founder and CEO of Shandler Industries - A large company that makes hovercrafts.
ERIC:   Eric Stoller is a scientist working in the R&D department of Ronholm Engines
DESMOND:   Milton Desmond is the CEO of Kuat Motors.   Kuat Motors manufactures cars and is one of the largest companies in The Tasnica Republic.   It is part of the Kuat Consortium.
Assorted office workers for Ronholm Engines and Shandler Industries
Assorted stockholders in Shandler Industries


The Setting:

The play starts off in January WR43.   Most of the action takes place in the corporate headquarters of Ronholm Engines, which is located outside of Egmond in the Tasnica Republic in Mana.   Some scenes take place in the offices of Shandler Industries located in another part of Egmond.


The scenes:

Act I:   Scene 1: (7:30AM, January WR43, Ronholm Engines)
Act I:   Scene 2: (1/2 hour later, an office at Ronholm Engines)
Act I:   Scene 3: (One week later, an office called The War Room)
Act I:   Scene 4: (Two weeks later, The War Room)
Act I:   Scene 5: (Four weeks later, The War Room)
Act I:   Scene 6: (That afternoon, a hallway)
Act I:   Scene 7: (One week later, The War Room)
Act I:   Scene 8: (The next morning, The War Room)
Act II:   Scene 1: (Two days later, Shandler Industries)
Act II:   Scene 2: (That afternoon, The War Room)
Act II:   Scene 3: (Three weeks later, The War Room)
Act II:   Scene 4: (8 days later, The War Room)
Act III:   Scene 1: (The next morning, Shandler Industries)
Act III:   Scene 2: (Later that day, The War Room)
Act III:   Scene 3: (A month later, Shandler Industries)
Act III:   Scene 4: (That evening, The War Room)


Production Notes:

This play can be done with as few as 10 people (with some people playing multiple roles).   But Act III, Scene 3 involves every member of the cast as well as “assorted mingling stockholders”   To make this scene work if you have less than 12 cast members you will need to use stage hands dressed in business suits.   But 14 cast members (with 3 of them having only 1 or 2 lines and 2 having no lines) would be ideal.

One major prop piece is the large screen in the “War Room” set.   This can be made with a computer data projector and a rear screen system.   But if budget is limited, a bulletin board with index cards or a large white board can be used instead.     If this is produced as a film, or a play with a large budget, a 3D hologram projector (or special effects that simulate one) can be used.


Some Thank You’s:

I want to thank Celiose for inventing the character of TT Ronholm (in his 2002 IW entry “Liz. Asimov`s Senator”).   TT really made this story sing.

I also want to thank Celiose for all his late night IMs to answer questions about hovercrafts and other story details.

I want to thank my wife for her proofreading help and all her support.

And I want to thank Miranda for the humor she helped add to the story.

And most of all, I want to thank you the reader for reading this play.   I realize it is a long 3 act play.   Actually, it is a short 3-act play, classical 3 act plays are usually longer and I was going for a classical style.   But it is the longest IW entry I ever wrote and so is a effort for the judges.   I hope the story will keep you interested as you read it so you won’t mind the length.   (How is that for sucking up to the judges?)

Act I:   Scene 1:   (A hallway in the headquarters for Ronholm Engines)

(As the lights come up, we see the area in front of the office of the CEO of the “Ronholm Engines”.   The hallway is rich looking and full of earth tones.   Standing by the door, looking impatient is Cynthia Witisham.     She is a very professionally and conservatively dressed older woman.   She is reading papers and checking here watch.)

(Enter Cedric Ronholm CEO, a grey haired older man wearing a very conservative tailored suit.   He should have a commanding air of confidence, but also seem a bit distracted)

MRS WITISHAM:   Sir, you are 10 minutes late.   We have a very full schedule today and now we have only 5 minutes to review your schedule before your first meeting.

RONHOLM:   Sorry Cynthia.   I didn’t sleep well last night.   So what is on deck for this morning?

MRS WITISHAM: At 7:45 you have a meeting with the manager of the north Narshe plant.   He is having a labor dispute and you wanted a briefing of the details.   At 8:30, the photographer will be here to get publicity photos for the shareholders meeting next week.   Then at..

(Sally, an office worker walks in and smiles hello at RONHOLM and MRS WITISHAM then walks by.)

RONHOLM:   Sally, wait up.     Good morning.   Don’t just walk by without telling me how little Peter did on his game last Saturday?

SALLY: Sorry sir.   Good morning Sir.   Good morning Mrs. Witisham.   I didn’t want to bother you while you are working.   Peter scored the winning run.   We all were so excited.

RONHOLM:   I’m sorry I missed it.   Congratulate him for me.

MRS WITISHAM: Then at 9:00 sir, you have the publicity department showing you their idea for a new logo for Ronholm Engines.   Then at 10:00, you have…

RONHOLM:   And why are they showing me ideas for a new logo?     Ronholm Engines are the most respected and trusted hovercraft engines in the web.   Our name means unquestioned quality.   We have always had the same logo.   Why are we even considering changing that type of solid brand image?

MRS WITISHAM: You already explained that to Wilson from publicity, and he asked that you hear his ideas with an open mind anyway, and you agreed.   He’s been waiting to have this meeting with you for 2 months now.

RONHOLM: Now I remember.   You are right.   I don’t know how I could keep up with all these things without your help.

MRS WITISHAM: We need to get through this.   Now at 10:00 you have …

(Sam, another worker walked past, and smiles when he sees RONHOLM and MRS WITISHAM).

SAM:   Morning boss.   Morning Mrs. Witisham. Boss did you see the morning stock market.   Up two points from last week.   Two whole points!     (RONHOLM looks like each word is an insult).   With the company stock doing so well, I’ll be able to retire 2 years early.   (Shakes RONHOLM’s hand and moves on when there is no other response).

MRS WITISHAM:   You didn’t seem happy at that news sir?   With the amount of stock you own in this company that 2 points means you made millions since last week.   What aren’t you telling me?

RONHOLM:   I never keep anything from you Cynthia.   But I am worried.   Very worried.   I think we are in real trouble.     And it is time I started doing something about it.

MRS WITISHAM:   I don’t understand sir.   How is our stock going up anything but a good thing?

(RONHOLM stands with a distracted confused look on his face.   Then he seems to come to a decision, straightens up and looks driven)

RONHOLM:   I’ll explain in a bit, but I want Velma and Mary to hear also, I’ll need their help with this.   Are they in town?

MRS WITISHAM:   I assume they will be in early sir.     Since you’ve assigned them to oversee the preparations for the stockholder’s meeting next week, and ….

RONHOLM:   (Cutting her off) Good.     Call Phil in accounting, and tell him to email that stock market report to me immediately.   Then cancel all my morning meetings.   Everything.   Apologies to everyone. Tell them I’ll reschedule but it couldn’t be helped.   Then meet me in 30 minutes at Velma’s and Mary’s office and I’ll fill all three of you in on why I haven’t been sleeping much recently.

MRS WITISHAM:   But sir.   You can’t just …

(RONHOLM ignores her as he goes through his door, and she walks off stage as the lights dim)

Act I:   Scene 2: (1/2 hour later, Velma & Mary’s office)

(As the lights come up, we see a very neat but also very warm and personalized office.   There are two desks, both with computers and a table and chairs in the middle.   Velma Boatman and Mary Pitchard are sitting at their desks working.   VELMA is a tall muscular women wearing very fashionable but professional clothing.   MARY is smaller and wearing a more colorful but still business-like dress.     RONHOLM and MRS WITISHAM walk in together.)

VELMA:   Morning Boss.     You are going to love what we set up for the stockholder’s meeting next week.   We’re gonna wow them.

MARY:   Good morning, Mr. Ronholm.     Velma is correct.   Plans are going very well and we are still keeping to our budget.

RONHOLM:     Thank you.   You ladies always do good work.   I never have to worry when you are on a project.   But I think we have a crisis on our hands and I want to brief you and then reassign you to help handle it for me. (He sits down in one of the chairs. MRS WITISHAM stands next to him)

VELMA:   That doesn’t sound good boss.   I don’t think I ever heard you use the word “crisis” before.   What is up?   (MARY also looks worried)

RONHOLM:   It’s been brewing for 6 months now, but I kept fooling myself into believing it was all a coincident or that I was being paranoid.   Now it is almost too late to act. Have you been looking at our stock prices recently?

VELMA:   Sure have.   I check it regularly; all my money is invested in shares of Ronholm Engine stock.   It seems like we are in a real growth cycle.   Slow but steady stock growth for months now.

RONHOLM:   That is right.   Our stock has gone up steadily for the last 6 months.     But why?   The market is not rising as fast as we are.   The other small manufacturing companies aren’t doing as well.   We are a “risk free” stock.   Our stock price has grown exactly 1% above inflation for the last 15 years since the Great War.   Firm and dependable.   I have controlled growth and expansion all these years to keep it that way.   So why should we be growing now?   All of a sudden?

VELMA:   I just figured you were doing something behind the scenes to make the company grow.

RONHOLM: I know, that is what everyone thinks.   They congratulate me on the great job I’m doing.   But I’m not.   Stock prices are based on an exact formula involving assets and projected profits and material costs and so on.   Now that equation isn’t working, and that spells trouble.

MRS WITISHAM: But sir. I’m afraid I was never an A student in Economics, but I though stock prices go up and down all the time, constant fluctuation.   Isn’t that because the price is based on supply and demand?   If more people want to buy then sell, the price goes up, while if more people want to sell then buy, the price goes down.

RONHOLM:   Correct.   All that buying and selling accounts for a lot of fluctuation in the price of any stock.     But since every big investor knows the formulas, they all know the underlying cost of the company.   This makes these little fluctuations only a temporary thing.   The system is self-correcting.   If the stock price goes above the company’s worth, investors know it the price will soon go down again and so sell their stock to take advantage of the temporary high.   That extra selling of stock then makes the price go down.   While if the price goes below the company’s worth, investors will make money buying the stock, and so drive the stock up again.

(RONHOLM gets up and paces as he talks).

RONHOLM:   Now for many stocks, the formula and so the true worth of the company is not that easy to calculate.   It involves future profits and predicting the future is mater of opinion.   Therefore, for most companies those fluctuations are more extreme and take longer to correct.   However, in our case, we sell hovercraft engines, not hovercrafts.   We sell our engines to hovercrafts manufacturers.   And ours customers are locked into their purchases with multi-year contracts.     So, all our investors know exactly how much profit we will make next year.   Our 1% above inflation growth comes from new contracts and new factories we open up.   I do that very slowly and carefully to avoid over extending our self.

VELMA:   So boss.   Enough of the economics lesson.   You have a punchline coming.   If our stock price is rising and we aren’t growing, what is happening?

RONHOLM:   If this were only a short rise, over two months or less, I’d say someone was speculating on the market in general.   Buying a lot of our stock because they know something we don’t and wants to profit from that knowledge.   But this is too slow and too steady.   Someone is carefully buying up stock a little at a time.     They want to buy up as much stock as they can without driving stock prices up so high that the price becomes exorbitant.   But even with all their care, the price is slowly going up.   This means they are losing money on every purchase.   So they don’t just want to profit from our stock, they want our stock itself.

MRS WITISHAM: By Rainere.   You are talking about a hostile take-over, aren’t you sir?

VELMA:   No way!     For all the reasons the Boss just mentioned.   We only sell to businesses; we have multi-year contracts.   There is no real profit to taking us over.   Right boss?

MARY: But what about a competitor, maybe they would want to take us over to expand or just to remove competition.   This is very unsettling.

RONHOLM:   No Mary, we don’t have any competitors, not really.   We make the most expensive hovercraft engines on the market.   We are the quality brand, used only in luxury hovercrafts.   Because our profit margins are so high, and our need for quality so important, are workers are paid higher then the average worker in other companies.     No other company that makes hovercraft engines is at our level or wants to be, and none would want the baggage of the high price workers that would come with a merger.

VELMA:   So give boss.   Don’t keep us guessing.   Who do you think is trying to take us over and why?

RONHOLM:   That is the problem.     I have no idea!     That is why it has taken me this long to bring the issue up.   It makes no sense.   I kept thinking I was imagining it, or I was missing an obvious easy explanation.   But it’s been 6 months now, and my insomnia doesn’t change the facts.

MARY: But is it even possible to do a hostile takeover?   Excuse me for asking Mr. Ronholm, but aren’t you the majority stockholder?

RONHOLM:   No.   I only own 27% of the company stock.   Until now, I’ve just been the largest stockholder.   If you include the company profit sharing plan and my sons’ trust funds and other funds that I control the proxies for, I control 42% of the proxies for this company.   I had a study done and to keep the stock price steadily rising for 6 months, our enemy must have purchased at least 34% of the stock.   And if they were very careful with how they made the purchases, it might be much more than that.

VELMA:   Come on Boss!   They can’t have bought over 50% of the stock.   And if they have 40%, they are still no better than you.   Let’s be honest.   You are liked and respected.   Whoever this person is, the rest of the stockholders will follow your lead over a devious corporate raider.

RONHOLM:   Don’t be so sure.   People buy stock to make money.   And since we don’t know what this person plans, we don’t know how attractive his arguments will be.   He might persuade enough stockholders to side with him to do whatever he wants.

(RONHOLM stopped pacing nervously and stood up tall in the center of the room as if addressing a large group)

RONHOLM:   We can’t wait any longer.   We are clearly under attack by an unknown enemy with hidden motives.   And if we don’t mobilize our troops and resources, we will be defeated without a fight.   So this becomes top priority.   Velma, Mary, you are my generals.   And we will defeat this enemy just like we defeated the enemy in the Great War!

VELMA:   General Velma reporting for duty Generalissimo.   What are your orders Sir? (VELMA and MARY stand and salute)

RONHOLM: The first thing is we need to do is cancel the stockholders meeting next week.

MRS WITISHAM:   Why?   And can we even do that?   Don’t the corporation bylaws demand regular stockholder meetings?

RONHOLM:   Yes they do.   But the rules state we only have to have one meeting a year.     So technically, as long as we gave a meeting before the end of December we are within the law.   This is January.   So we have plenty of time before we have to have a meeting.     As to why?   Think.   Without a stockholders meeting, there is no way for our enemy to do anything.   Without a meeting, he can’t call anything to a vote.   He can’t persuade anyone to vote his way.   He can’t do anything.   A battle needs a battlefield, and if we can delay this meeting, we delay this battle.

MARY:   But what will a delay buy us?

RONHOLM:   I don’t know.   But I don’t know much of anything in this war.   Celiose Cole taught me never to go into a battle unless you know you can win.     And until I know what is happening and why, I don’t know if we can win or not.   So we delay this battle until we know.   It’s that simple.

(RONHOLM sat again.)

RONHOLM: After you cancel the meeting, our top priority should be to find out who the enemy is and what he wants.   That will be your job, generals.   Take whatever staff and equipment you need.   No expense is too much.   But find out who bought up 35+% of our stock in the last 6 months.

VELMA: That isn’t going to be that hard.   This is a public company.   And the stock trades are matter of public record.   A few hours on the computer net, and we will have the all names of our new stockholders.

RONHOLM:   Don’t be so sure.   Don’t you think I tried that 5 months ago?     All these computerized records make finding information easier.   But someone who knows what they are doing can use those same systems to make it very hard to discover their identity.   And whoever this is, he very much wants to hide his identity.   Expect days of searching and only coming up with private investment groups, dummy corporations, and off-world holding companies.   I know.   I have already tried.

MARY:   Don’t worry Mr. Ronholm.   No one can buy stock, even a private investment group, without being authorized by the government.   So there has to be a trail to the buyer’s real identity.   It might take time to follow the trail, but we will find a way.

RONHOLM: That is what I was hoping you’d say.   I’ll go back to my office and apologize to our bigger stockholders for canceling the meeting at this late date.   Don’t want to offend more people than we have to, we might need their vote.     Cynthia, stay here and make sure the ladies have all the help they need to do their job.   Then let’s talk about which of my afternoon meetings I can still keep.

(RONHOLM starts to leave, and VELMA and MARY give him a military salute, he turns at the doorway and returns the salute, then leaves.)

MARY:   Velma.   What was all that military talk and saluting we just did?

VELMA:   I’m sorry.     I thought you knew.   During the Great War, the boss was in charge of delivering Celiose Cole’s groceries.   So he imagines himself a military expert.   I found it best to just humor him and let him have his fun.

MRS WITISHAM:   Oh.   You know very well that he was a general in the Great War, working directly for Celiose Cole.   He has every right to feel proud of his military service.

VELMA: Yes, he was a general.   A general in charge of supplies.   The only battles he saw were battling dry rot in the vegetable bins.

MARY: Velma - you are terrible sometimes.   Shall we get to work?

(The lights go down).

Act I:   Scene 3: (One week later.   Velma & Mary’s new office – Called “The War Room”)

(As the lights come up, we are in a much larger version of Velma and Mary’s office.   There are a number of desks with workers talking on the phone and typing into computers.   In the center of the office against the back wall is a huge flat computer screen with names in white boxes moving across the screen like a ticker-tape.   VELMA and MARY are in the center stopping the screen’s movement on occasion to discuss a name then starting it moving again.)

(RONHOLM, enters stage left holding a piece of paper)

VELMA: Generalissimo (she and MARY salutes).   We have not yet sighted the enemy, but we are closing in.

MARY:   Yes Mr. Ronholm.   We have found 42 separate holding companies and investor groups that have bought large amounts of our stock in the last 6 months (points to the moving boxes on the screen).   It is only a matter of time until we find them all and can identify who controls them.

RONHOLM:   Excellent.   You seem to be working hard.   And the bad news is that this work is just as important as I was afraid it was.   The enemy has sent us a formal declaration of war.   So this hostile takeover is not just in my imagination.

(RONHOLM puts the paper forcibly down on the table, and MARY picks it up).

MARY:   “The law firm of Willham, Fisher, Rhoads, Hendrickson, ….”.     “Based on corporate bylaw IX A 15 a ii which states…” “The chairman of the board must call a stockholders meeting when requested by any stockholder or group of stockholder whose combined shares and proxies amount to at least 10% ….”   I’m not sure I understand most of this.

RONHOLM:   Let me translate for you.   A law firm was hired by our unknown enemy, a firm known for its connection to the Maughlin crime family.   So we can be sure that these lawyers will stop at nothing to get what they want.   And what they want is to force us to reschedule the stockholder’s meeting immediately.   They claim they represent a major stockholder in our company and point out that our corporate by-law allows any major stockholder to request a meeting.   I, as chairman of the board, am obligated to grant that request.   They are threatening to get a court order forcing me to set up a new stockholder’s meeting whether I agree or not.

VELMA:   So Generalissimo.   What are we going to do?   Are we going set up the meeting?     At least we can see who shows up and figure out who the enemy is.

RONHOLM:   I say no.   For all the same reasons I canceled the meeting in the first place.   Plus one more, if the enemy wants that meeting this badly, then I want just as badly not to give it to him.   He clearly is under some sort of time pressure.   By canceling our meeting, we disrupted his schedule.   So that means we are winning.   Celiose Cole said that anything that hurts the enemy helps you.   And I intend to continue to win.

MARY:   But if they get a court order?   Won’t that force use to call the meeting?   Will we break the law?

RONHOLM:   If they get a court order, then so will we.   We have a huge legal staff, and I’ve already gone down there and told them to drop everything and put every man on this project.   So we will match every legal document they produce with 20 of our own.   The first battle in our little company war has started.   The enemy is engaged and our front line troops are seeing combat.   But the most important battle is still in here with the work you are doing.   We need to know who the enemy is; else all these legal maneuvers are just a delay tactic.   So get more staff if you have to.   Order better computer equipment if you want.   Just find out who is trying to take over our company!

VELMA & MARY: (standing and saluting) Yes sir, yes Generalissimo Sir.

(RONHOLM returns the salute and leaves as the lights go down)

Act I:   Scene 4: (Two weeks later, The War Room again)

(As the lights come up, we are in the War Room again.   The screen in the center has the same white boxes across the top constantly moving.   But below them are a series of blue and green boxes arranged in complex patterns and connected to the white boxes with red arrows.   One of the workers at the back desks has been replaced with Toby Troy (TT) Ronholm; a tall good-looking man well dressed man in his early thirties.   VELMA and MARY are at their desks typing on the computers.)

(RONHOLM enters stage left and goes straight to VELMA not noticing TT. MRS WITISHAM follows a few paces behind)

RONHOLM:   Velma, How is the hunt for the enemy going.   I have a problem and I needed some level-headed advice … (TT gets up and walks towards RONHOLM, beaming) TT!   By Rainere boy.   When did you get in?   What are you doing here? (TT and RONHOLM embrace and then TT embraces MRS WITISHAM who smiles broadly.)

TT: Where do you think I’d be?   No point in my going to the house, since Mom died you mostly live here.   And Paul technically lives at home, but he is off climbing mountains in Hyrule or partying in Proto or some such.   Here is where the action is.   Velma tells me you have quite a little war on your hands.

RONHOLM:   It is very good to see you son.   Very good.   I’m a little out of my league with all these legal maneuvers.   I could really use your advice.     How long can you stay?   I’m sure you need to get back to the senate quickly.   With Senator Pompey and the Conservative party out-voted on every issue, she probably needs her chief of staff.

TT: Not at all.   I’ve already moved into my old room at the mansion, and I’m here until we beat this corporate takeover problem.     Liz has plenty of aides, she can spare me for a month or two, and she is just a phone call away if she really does need me.   I’ve already gotten a briefing from legal, and if it is OK with you, I’ll set up a desk down there and coordinate the legal activity.   I`ll be your frontline commander.

RONHOLM: I’m please to see you son.   But are you sure?   You have your own life; I don’t want to trouble you with my little problems.

TT:   First off, it is not a little problem.   Second, it is my problem also.     If you remember, my trust fund is made up entirely of shares of stock in this company.   Liz pays me a good salary, but without that trust fund I can’t make my condo payment.   You should have called me, Dad.   Thank Rainere Velma and Mary filled me in on the problems here.

MRS WITISHAM:   Don’t let him fool you TT.   He is overjoyed that you are here.   And so am I.

RONHOLM:   She is right, as usual.   I am overjoyed.   Particularly today.   I have a strategy problem I need your advice on.

RONHOLM: (sitting in a chair as TT sits on a desk, and everyone else pulls in to listen).   The enemy’s lawyers are pushing for a meeting with my personally.     They want to discuss scheduling the stockholders meeting, of course.   They claim that if I refuse to meet with them, they will subpoena me and drag me into court.   What do I do?   Do I meet with them privately as they request?   Do I meet in a large conference room with all our lawyers backing me up?   Or do I refuse to meet and risk being dragged into court?

TT: I am really glad I showed up today.   I already got a full briefing on this problem from legal, and the answer is none of the above.   I’m very worried that they are requesting a private meeting.   An honest law firm would want as many witnesses as possible.   But this firm is not known for being honest.   They probably want to make some threat or offer some shady deal that they want off the record.   However, public are private, the last thing you want to do is meet with them.   Officially you haven’t refused their request for a stockholders meeting, or agreed to it either.   It is in limbo.   And we have a very good legal argument that we can’t call a stockholders meeting until we understand the needs and work out the details.   But that limbo ends the minute you meet the lawyers face to face.

VELMA: So are you saying the Generalissimo should refuse to meet with the lawyers? I’m confused.

TT: No.   The instant that Dad refuses to talk to them, they really will go to courts and use that refusal as a sign that Dad is being uncooperative.   That is the same as denying their request for a stockholders meeting, and then the courts decide if they will force you to call a meeting or not.   We don’t want the courts to make that decision, it is too uncertain.   So the trick is to be totaling willing to cooperate, at least on paper, but to have it be the enemy’s fault that the meeting never happens.

RONHOLM: OK, let’s assume that makes sense.   How do I do that?

TT:   You are a busy man.   You can’t be expected to drop running your company for everyone who wants an appointment.   So we will agree to meet with the lawyers.   I’ll meet with them.   The legal department will meet with them.   Velma and Mary will meet with them.   If we can arrange it, the 3rd floor janitor will meet with them.   But you are too busy at the moment.

TT: (MARY looks worried, and TT addresses her).   Don’t look so worried.   It will be easy for you.   After all, you don’t know Dad’s schedule, and you have no power to call a stockholders meeting even if you wanted to.   So you meet with them and agree to everything they ask for.   Agree to try to schedule a meeting with Dad if you can, just because you agreed to try doesn’t mean you will succeed.   Agree to give them anything they ask for.   This is a public company anyway; there is nothing you could give them that they couldn’t get without your help anyway.   The end result will be a lot of useless meetings that accomplish nothing for either side.   But these meetings will buy us some more time and we will still look like we are cooperating.

RONHOLM:   And what am I doing during all these useless meetings Son?

TT:   That is simple; you are running your company.   Only you are not doing it from here.   Make a tour of all the plants and offices.   Try not to be in any one office for to long.   We don’t want them to camp out in your office and force you to have a meeting.

RONHOLM:   And what will we do when they are fed up with useless meetings?

TT:   Then you will schedule a meeting with them in for 2:00PM – 4:00PM in our Centwerp plant.

MRS WITISHAM:   But we don’t have a Centwerp plant.   You must mean the Rivertown plant that is just up river from Centwerp.

TT:   That is exactly what I’m hoping they will assume.   But Dad will be in Grimstone plant that is really on the slopes of Mount Centwerp.     An honest mistake on their part and an honest mistake of Dad’s for not making it clear which office he meant.   But on paper, and therefore legally, Dad was being cooperative and making time for them, but they missed the meeting.

VELMA:   TT you are positively evil!

TT:   No.   I’m a politician.   This is what I do for a living.

VELMA:   Evil / Politician.   Same difference.

MRS WITISHAM: TT, I am so glad you are here.   What are your plans for dinner tonight?   Never mind.   Ignore that question.   You WILL be eating dinner with my husband and myself, and I won’t take “no” for an answer.   Mr. Ronholm, will you be joining us?   And Velma, Mary, what about you?

VELMA:   Sorry Cynthia, but Mary and I better keep working on finding out who the enemy is.   TT can’t delay these lawyers forever.

TT: You would be surprised what I can do.

(TT, MRS WITISHAM, and RONHOLM walk off the stage together chatting happily, VELMA and MARY both pick up the phone while the lights go down.)

Act I:   Scene 5: (Four weeks later, The War Room)

(As the lights come up, we in the War Room again.   The computer screen is now covered white boxes at the top and multiple levels of blue and green boxes underneath that connected by red arrows in complex patterns.     Below these are 4 yellow boxes connected in multiple ways by red arrows to the blue and green boxes.   Paul Ronholm is seated on a chair next to MARY’s desk chatting.   Paul Ronholm is a very handsome man in his late twenties, wearing an expensive dinner jacket that looks out of place in an office. VELMA and MARY are at their desks typing on the computers.   MARY seems to be trying to ignore PAUL, but giggles at what he says occasionally.)

(RONHOLM enters stage left with MRS WITISHAM.   As he enters the room, he immediately notices PAUL and runs up to embrace him.)

RONHOLM:   Paul!   It seems every time I show up in this room a member of the family surprises me.   When did you get back into town son?   Weren’t you racing cars in the Esper Union just last week?

PAUL:   No, that was almost two months ago.   My friend Buffy was on a tiger hunt in Auria and that is where I was for the last month.   The big question is where were you?   I do live in the mansion with you, you know.   And I’ve been home for over a week, and I haven’t seen you once.

RONHOLM:   TT has me traveling all over the web avoiding those damn lawyers.   You would not believe what he had me do last week.   I spent all week in our Truce office.

VELMA:   But Boss, we don’t have a Truce office?

RONHOLM: We do now.   TT set one up two weeks ago.   Filled it with temp workers, put in phones and computer equipment.   The works.   Before I went to Truce, TT arranged for me to run into those lawyers “accidentally” in the parking lot.   I told them I’d be in the Truce office.     I invited them to join me for our meeting there at any time.     I made it clear the Truce office was in the city of Truce.   I even offered to give them directions to the office, but they said their people would get the directions from my staff.   I wonder how TT knew they wouldn’t let me give them directions?

TT: (Entering the room from stage left, and hugs his father hello) Because they are lawyers.   And lawyers never take directions themselves.   They are too afraid they will put a comma in the wrong place and be legally responsible if there is a problem.   They always let their staff do it.   Of course, you didn’t mention to them that only you and I knew exactly where our new Truce offices were.

MRS WITISHAM:   You wouldn’t believe how many frantic phone calls I had to answer.   Everyone from the lowest secretary to a senior partner from the law office called here to find out how to get to our Truce office.   Of course I told them I didn’t know, which is true, I didn’t.   Of course, I transferred them to every department I could think of, none of whom knew either.   And of course, I emailed Mr. Ronholm after every phone call requesting that he send directions to the offices.

RONHOLM:   And of course, I received every email, and answered every one personally with very careful directions.     Only I didn’t answer them until I was almost ready to leave.     According to the temp staff in Truce, about 12 lawyers showed up there looking for me 10 minutes after I left the office.   Then all 12 rushed to the spaceport to catch me there.   To bad for them that TT managed to arrange for me to travel out of the military spaceport in Dorrinburg just outside of Truce.   They must have gone crazy trying to find me in the big inter-web spaceport.

VELMA:   TT you really are evil.   If this is how you and Liz run the government, I’m glad I’m in the private sector.

TT: I do my best.

RONHOLM:   So Paul.   What are you doing here?     I didn’t think I would ever live to see the day that you entered an office.

PAUL:   (standing and saluting) I work here now.   I’m part of the regular staff.   Lieutenant Paul Ronholm reporting for duty.   Sir.

VELMA:   Lieutenant?   My ass.     I’m not sure you even qualify for Private. You come in late every morning.   Take 2 hour lunch breaks.   And you leave early.   And even then, you just chat all day and never got any work done.     But I’ll give you “Corporal” and let you keep working here; because you are just too damn sexy and easy on the eyes (strokes his upper arm flirtatiously).

PAUL:   You know I’m no good at all this computer work.   But I help where I can.   In this case, I keep you and Mary entertained and keep your moral up. (PAUL makes eye contact with MARY who looks down shyly)   That is an important job also.

PAUL:   (turning to RONHOLM) Dad, you or TT should have told me what was going on.   I would have come home sooner.   My trust fund is very important to me.   It is what I live off of when I’m not sponging off some rich friend.   Of course I would come home and help defend it.

TT:   Sorry Paul.   But remember you are constantly on the move to this party or that adventure.   And you don’t leave your family an itinerary or a forwarding address.

PAUL: You know I’m not good at paperwork.   But enough about me.   You have to see what your two general’s have done.     We have gotten out of the land of faceless holding companies and investment groups.   The have found some actual people hidden behind all those paper trails.

(Mary hits some keys on the computer keyboard and the boxes on the big screen stop moving and the 4 yellow boxes are brought up to the center of the screen and made larger.   PAUL directs TT, RONHOLM, and MRS WITISHAM to look at the yellow boxes on the computer screen. VELMA and MARY squeeze in close to either side of PAUL so they become a single group)

VELMA:   It is not that big an achievement.   These four are only the tip of the iceberg.   We can only tie them to about 8% of our stock currently.   But Paul knows three out of the four.

PAUL:   I know them.   I’ve been to parties with them.   And I was even on a yacht with one of them about a year ago.   They are just the spoiled rich sons of rich fathers who live off their trust funds.   (Pauses when he realizes what he said) Not that there is anything wrong with that you understand.   (VELMA swats him playfully).   But I don’t think any of them even knows what a corporate takeover is, let alone would want to start one.   Someone else is pulling their strings.   Some one they trust has told them to invest in our company and is taking their proxies in exchange.

TT:   But that’s our solution Paul. You can go to them and ask who told them to invest in Ronholm Engines.

PAUL: TT, they are spoiled drains on society, but they are not stupid.   I’ve had conversations with them about everything from web politics to which famous actress has the biggest boobs.   But we have never talked about anything as boring as investments. If I bring the topic up, they will be suspicious.   And the enemy, whoever he is, must have told them to keep his involvement secret. Don’t you think they would figure out that they shouldn’t tell Paul Ronholm the name of the person who told them to buy stock in Ronholm Engines? As I said, they are not stupid.

RONHOLM: Having names is better than not.   And if we can get enough names, maybe we can find what all these names have in common.   So you three keep working.   I’ve been gone for weeks, I’ll need drop in on a long list of people here.   So if you’ll excuse me.   Paul, try to be home for dinner tonight, I want to hear all about your latest trips.   TT, see if you can join us also.     Good job everyone.   Try to keep it up.     We will defeat this enemy yet.

(VELMA, MARY, PAUL, and TT all salute RONHOLM, who salutes back and leaves with MRS WITISHAM.   TT stays to look at the computer screen, VELMA and MARY go back to work, and PAUL sits back down next to MARY to talk.   The lights go down).

Act I:   Scene 6: (That afternoon, the hallway in front of Ronholm’s office)

(MRS WITISHAM enters from stage left just as RONHOLM enters from stage right)

MRS WITISHAM:   There you are sir.   I have a long list of people you still need to see today.   Would you like me to go over it with you?

RONHOLM:   Not just yet.   I’m just so surprised that Paul is back. And he is actually coming into the office to work every day.     Do you think the boy is finally growing up?

MRS WITISHAM: Not in the slightest.   Or to be more precise, he is totally grown up now.   What you mean is will he be adopting your work ethic and decide to work in an office every day even though he has all the money he needs already.   And the answer is “No”.   Paul is just not like you or TT.   None of you has to work.   TT works because he wants to change to world.   You work because you always have and you are too old to change now.   But Paul doesn’t see the benefits of it; he just wants to play all day, so he does.

RONHOLM:   You make it sound like he is the sane one of the three of us.   But I don’t care what he does.   I just would like there to be some direction in his life.   He has been coming to the office every day for a week.   Isn’t that a good sign?

MRS WITISHAM:   He comes into the office everyday, true.   But I don’t think it has anything to do with life direction or work ethic.   Didn’t you see how Velma was flirting with him?     Velma.   Flirting!   When have you seen Velma show the slightest interest in any man?   And my experience is that what Velma wants, Velma gets.   I think his showing up every day has more to do with romance then with work ethic or corporate take-overs.

RONHOLM:   Velma?   You really think she is seriously interested in Paul?   Not to put down my own son, but... Why?     He is a self-absorbed, lazy, shallow playboy.

MRS WITISHAM:   Are you kidding sir.   Step back and look at the boy objectively.   He is definitely not lazy; crewing a yacht in a yacht race, climbing a mountain, or racing cars, they are all hard work.   And if you really talk to him, you will find he is not any more self-absorbed or shallow than the next guy.   The only thing you said right is he is a playboy, but that is not a fault.

(MRS WITISHAM pauses to give RONHOLM time to react to this.   But he just shakes his head in confusion.)

MRS WITISHAM:   You are looking at Paul like a father.   Look at him the way a young single women would see him.   He is rich, he is charming, he doesn’t drink or gamble, he is kind to everyone, he had done just about every interesting thing there is to do in the Web, he is known and liked among all the “beautiful people” and most of all – He is Gorgeous!   Sir, if this was a fairy tale he would be Prince Charming.   Most of the women in the company – single or married - have a crush on him.

RONHOLM:   Paul?   Really?   But you are exaggerating.   For one he is hardly rich.   Those trust funds I set up for Paul and TT are not that big.   You make more money in a year then Paul gets from his trust fund.

MRS WITISHAM:   True.   But as the personal secretary to a CEO of a medium sized company, I’m considered upper-middle class.   Especially since you over-pay me.   But my money goes to raising my family and paying the mortgage and basic living.   My disposable income is only a small fraction of that salary.

MRS WITISHAM:   Paul, on the other hand, has no expenses.   He lives at home or is a guest in the home of a rich friend.   He only pays for a meal when he wants to eat out.   And while he wears the best clothing, you will notice his suits are always a little worn.   My guess is he buys them used or he gets them as hand-me-downs from friends.   Paul works very hard at looking rich so he will fit in with his rich friends.   But almost all of Paul’s money is disposable income.   He spends it on travel, on all his sports and adventures, and mostly on his dates.     Do you know that he has a reputation as one of the best dates in The Tasnica Republic?   True Romance magazine wrote him up as the most romantic bachelor in The Tasnica Republic.   Not that I read that trashy magazine you understand.   That all makes him rich as far as most people are concerned.

RONHOLM:   OK.   You are right, as always.   And I can see what Velma sees in him.   But I don’t think that is why Paul is showing up every day.   If it has anything to do with romance, it has to do with Mary.   She is more his type.   And did you notice that while Velma was flirting with Paul, it was Paul who was flirting with Mary?

MRS WITISHAM:   You men are so naive.   What you were seeing was Mary flirting with Paul.   That whole “I’m going to pretend to ignore you but I’ll giggle like a schoolgirl and blush” bit.     She was working it hard.   In a contest between Velma and Mary, I’d say that Velma would win every time.   But you can just ask Paul tonight over dinner.

RONHOLM:   Can’t do that.   It is against the code that governs father/son conversation.   Especially a father and son who argue all the time because I think my son should do something meaningful with his life. If he brings up the topic, then we can talk about it as long as I keep my mouth shut most of the time.   But if I ask, or make the slightest comment, then he’ll say that I’m judging him and her, and that I’m meddling and that I am trying to force and/or ruin something.

MRS WITISHAM: OK.   Let’s make a bet out of it.   If he ends up with Mary, I’ll buy you a new chair to replace that one in your den that you love so much but looks like it will fall apart any day now.   But if he ends up with Velma, you buy me a new car.

RONHOLM:   Wait a minute, that isn’t a fair bet.   A new chair is only the fraction of the cost of a new car.

MRS WITISHAM:   Correct.   But I only have a fraction of the money you have.   And you are making out better on this deal.   If I win, I’ll give up several weekends finding you the perfect chair.   But if you win, you will make one phone call and get a new car delivered, at cost.

RONHOLM:   So why didn’t you ask for a personal hovercraft, I could get you one of those at below cost?

MRS WITISHAM:   First, because I didn’t want to be greedy.   A personal hovercraft, even a cheap one, is three times the cost of a new car.   But mainly because hovercrafts use very high grade Magitek fuel that is five times as expensive as the low-grade Magitek fuel that cars use.   If I had a hovercraft, I couldn’t afford to drive it.

RONHOLM:   OK.   It’s a bet.   But I want a chair that is just as comfortable as the last one, or I’ll send it back and you will have to keep shopping.   And it has to be brown to match the room.   And the arms have to be high enough.   Most chairs don’t have high enough arms.

(TT enters from stage right and goes directly to RONHOLM)

TT:   Great news.   I just got some news that will drive the enemy right up a wall.     You are to schedule your next meeting with these lawyers at 2PM – 3PM next Monday at our Todoburg plant.   Be very specific, so we can show the courts that you are bending over backwards to be accommodating and it is the lawyers that are incompetents.   Be sure to specify that it is the Todoburg plant just outside of Todoburg; give the address and directions to the plant.   Whatever you do, show up at the plant yourself on Sunday or before.   And be sure to dress very warmly, humans don’t do well in weather that cold.

RONHOLM:   Oh. I you clearly have something devious in mind. OK, what is the catch?   How do you know the lawyers won’t show up?

TT:   Because Todoburg only has one airport/spaceport.   And there are only 2 direct flights a day from Egmond to Todoburg.   The first flight of the day gets in at 12 noon.   That is cutting it close for a 2PM meeting, but even with traffic, it should take less than 2 hours to get from the airport to our Todoburg plant.   And even if they are late, I suspect they can say what every they need to in 15 minutes, so they only have to get there before 2:45PM.   So they will take morning flight and expect to cut it close.

RONHOLM:   Why are you so sure they will fly in that morning?   If it were me, going to an important meeting, especially in an out of the way spot like Todoburg; I’d fly in the night before and rest up in a hotel room to be fresh for the meeting the next day.

TT: That is because you are a businessman, not a lawyer.   Lawyers are paid by the hour, including travel time and the time it takes to wait for meetings to start.   They will tell you that they are always cutting it close to save their clients money.   But I just think it’s their extreme type-A personality.   They can’t stand waiting for anything.   Sitting in an airport for an hour between flights drives them crazy.   And I know these lawyers are exactly that way, since I’ve had Dave in our travel department monitor every flight the enemy lawyers have taken since this thing began.   They always take the last possible flight out to make whatever meeting they end up missing, and they never take connecting flights if they can help it.   Lawyers are so predictable.   They are not even a challenge.

RONHOLM:   OK.   So their flight gets in at 12 noon, maybe even 12:30 if the flight is delayed.   And they get to the Todoburg plant no later than 2 – 2:30PM.   So they make the meeting.   What am I missing?

TT: What they will also miss, and what I just found out.     Celiose Cole is flying into Todoburg on Monday, at exactly 11:50AM.   I have a friend on his staff who gives me regular updates as to his schedule; just in case we could take advantage the knowledge.   There is only one airport/spaceport in Todoburg.   And no plane will land or take off when his plane is landing, or he is moving through the spaceport.   That is standard security protocol.   So the 12 Noon flight from Egmond will be in a holding pattern over the airport for about two hours.   And traffic is terrible in Todoburg after 2, especially since their only major highway is having some construction done this week and next.     I checked with some of our people there.     I doubt the lawyers will get to the plant anytime before 4, at which point you will be already heading back by dog sled to the second nearest airport 200 miles away, just so you don’t run into the enemy by accident.   And if the lawyers don’t dress very warmly, they will be lawyer icicles by the time they get back.

MRS WITISHAM:   By Rainere TT.   Where did you learn to be so devious?   Mr. Ronholm is a shrewd businessman.   But it is hard for me to imagine him raising either you or Paul.

RONHOLM: I didn’t.   Their mother did.   And she did a very good job of it from what I can see.   But I agree; I’m not sure how it is that you and Paul turned out so different.

TT:   We are a little different, I’m more like you, passionate about my work, and he is more like Mom, very social.   But we are more alike then we are different.   Secretly I envy his carefree do-as-you-like lifestyle.   And he can be just as devious as I am when he puts his mind to it.   Ask him about the time he got the famous model Uluva to date him by convincing her that he was the son of King Derik of Guardia.   And he did it so cleverly that when then went out on their date, and if became clear he was not Guardia royalty; she apologized to him for what she thought was her foolish mistake. She even asked him on a second date to make it up to him.

(The lights go down as the three continue to chat)

Act I:   Scene 7: (One week later, The War Room again)

(As the lights come up, we in the war room.   It looks about the same as it did the last time, only there are more blue and green boxes on the screen, more complex patterns of red arrows between things, and 4 more yellow boxes – making 8 yellow boxes in all.   VELMA, MARY, and PAUL are all standing at the bulletin board.)

(MRS WITISHAM and RONHOLM come rushing in, while TT enters almost immediately after them.   VELMA, MARY, and PAUL all salute as they enter.   They return the salute)

RONHOLM:   Velma, you said you had news for us?

VELMA:   Not at an answer certainly, we don’t know who the enemy is yet.   But we found three more names over the last week and Paul thinks he may be seeing a pattern.   Then we got a new name just an hour ago that seems to break the pattern.   We wanted to show you all what we have and see if we can brainstorm anything.

TT:   I’m fascinated.   Show us what you got.

VELMA:   Corporal, you may do the presentation to the high command:

(Mary types quickly on the keyboard and the 8 yellow boxes are moved to center screen)

PAUL:   Right.   Well we had these names before.   (Pointing to the 4 yellow boxes that were there before)   As I said these three are all sons of rich businessmen fathers.   That also describes these two new names.   (Points to two new yellow boxes)   All of them have connections to businessmen like their fathers who could orchestrate a corporate takeover.   But Mary has been investigating everyone, and there is no one person with a connection to all names.   Mary also profiled these two names.   I don’t know either of them, but she found out they are former rich playboys that eventually took over their father’s business.   So both could be our enemy, but again, the connection is not clear.

(VELMA gives PAUL an impatient look to try to speed him along).

PAUL: But that is when I figured out what all five of these names have in common.   They are all members of the Adventurers Club.   And Mary found a news photo of one of the two people I don’t know, and sure enough, he was wearing Adventurers Club cufflinks in the photo.   (Shows them a photo)   See, those plain looking round cufflinks, with a gold “A” in the center.     So he (indicating the photo) is a former Adventurers Club member, and I’ll bet the 7th person is a former member also, from his profile he is exactly the type.

TT: Good job, I think?     But what is the Adventurers Club?   And what does it have to do with corporate take-overs.

PAUL: The Adventurers Club is a secret society for rich kids with more money than brains.   Every two months they set up a big expensive event for the members, and the events always involve something illegal or dangerous and usually both.   Events like a drag race through city streets.   Or a party with prostitutes smuggled in from all over the web.   Or sponsoring a no-rules no-limits street fighting contest with teenagers from the slums as contestants and a huge prize.   The club members watched the fights for entertainment and bet on who will win.   There were three near deaths in that last event.   These men are not nice people.

(The various people all looked shocked).

PAUL: The members of the Adventurers Club are not really that bad.   They are not sadistic or anything.   But they get off on the knowledge that they can do anything they want and their money and political connections will keep them out of trouble.   And they are correct.   Despite breaking the law on average 6 times a year for over 30 years now, few members of the club have ever been arrested and none have been convicted.   A lot of that is due to the club members being very secretive.   If a member is arrested, there is always an army of other members giving him an alibi.   No member would ever rat on the other members, since all members are equally guilty.

RONHOLM:   I’m fascinated. And I don’t want to ask this next question.   But if they are so secretive, how do you know so much about them?

PAUL:   Dad, really.   You know me better then that.     I know about the club because many of the members go to the same parties I do, and talk gets around.   And because they have asked me to join.   But there are plenty of legal thrills in the web; I don’t have to break the law just to feel important.

TT:   I’m starting to see where this is going.   So these club members trust each other and look after each other.   If a member had a good stock tip, you think all the members would jump on it?

PAUL:   Exactly.   And even more than that, if a current or former member asked them to help him take over some company he wanted:   They all might jump on the bandwagon. Provided he guaranteed an obscene return on the investment, of course.

RONHOLM: So we need to find some way to get someone who is sworn to secrecy to tell us which club member is our hidden enemy.   That doesn’t sound so easy.

VELMA:   Maybe.   But we haven’t shown you yet the last name.   (Points to the last yellow box)   It is Renee Shandler.   She is a very rich divorcee.

PAUL:   And a something of a drunk.   And every time I see her at a party, she hits on me shamelessly until she passes out.   Hardly the type to join the Adventurers Club.

RONHOLM:     Renee Shandler?   That name sounds familiar.   Could she be the ex-wife of Winston Shandler, the head of Shandler industries?

PAUL:   I don’t know, could be?

RONHOLM:   If it is, her ex-husband is a client of ours.   His company makes hovercrafts.   And while they mostly use cheaper engines, they have one line that uses our engines.

TT: Clearly, we need to figure out if this Renee Shandler has any connection to the Adventurers Club, through her ex-husband perhaps.

MARY:   Paul has an idea how he might do that.   With your permission Mr. Ronholm.

PAUL: I’ve been invited to a party tonight. Actually, there is a party every night that I’ve been invited to.   Egmond is just a party town.   But I think Renee will be there; she is close friends with the host.   With your permission, Generalissimo, I would like to volunteer for this undercover mission, behind enemy lines.   If Renee is there, it is certain she will get drunk and hit on me, and I can use that to pump her for information.

RONHOLM:   (saluting) Permission granted, corporal.

PAUL:   And if I may request backup sir.   I don’t know if anyone else on our list with be at the party, but it is likely that one or two members of the Adventurers Club will be there.   It will be a lot easier for me to talk to them and maybe get some information, if I have a beautiful date under my arm.

VELMA:   You don’t have to ask twice.     Just let me go home and change into my sexiest dress and I’m with you all the way.

PAUL:   I’m sorry Velma.   I actually meant Mary.   Not any offence to you.   And I’d like to take you out in that sexy dress some other time.   But this is business, not pleasure.   And this mission calls for someone who can blend in.     Let’s face it Velma, you stand out a lot more than you blend in.   What do you say Mary?

MARY:   I couldn’t.   I have nothing to wear.   Not to a party with society types.   And I’d be too nervous.   Velma is a much better choice.

VELMA:   Nonsense, Mary.   I trust Paul’s judgment on this.   He knows a lot more about parties than anyone I know.   So if he says you will fit in, you will fit in.   And as for clothing, I bet your blue dress will be perfect once we take the shoulder straps off.   You know the one you don’t wear because it is too small on you.   You and I can leave now and I’ll help you get dressed.

PAUL:   Fantastic.   I’ll head back to the mansion to put on eveningwear and then pick you up Mary at your place.     Permission to leave on this dangerous mission, Sir (He salutes to RONHOLM).

RONHOLM: Permission granted Corporal.   Good luck (he salutes back).

(VELMA, MARY, and PAUL all leave)

RONHOLM: And you’ve been doing a great job TT.   But do me a favor.   Don’t ever send me to Todoburg again.   I am still shivering.

TT: Don’t worry Dad. Next time I have picked out a nice active volcano in Northern Hyrule to send you to.   (Stands at attention and salutes) If I may Dad, I’d like to go call some of my contacts in law enforcement.   See if I can dig up anything on this Adventurers Club.

(RONHOLM salutes back at TT as he leaves also)

MRS WITISHAM:   Stop grinning like that.   I still think I’ll win the bet.   Paul is taking Mary to the party, but that is business. He already agreed to take Velma out on a real date soon, and Paul always keeps his word.

RONHOLM:   It’s not tonight’s date that I’m smiling about.   You are correct, that is just business.     It is the fact that Paul agreed to pick up Mary at her apartment, but he didn’t ask for directions.   That means he’s been there before.   You can start shopping for my chair now, Mrs. Witisham.

(The lights come down as the MRS WITISHAM mulls this over.)

Act I:   Scene 8: (The next morning, The War Room again)

(As the lights come up, we in the war room.   There are no other workers there, only MRS WITISHAM, RONHOLM, and TT sitting in chairs looking impatient)

RONHOLM:   TT, did you get any sleep last night?

TT: None, I jumped up at every noise hoping it was Paul coming home from that party.

RONHOLM:   Me too.

TT: I talked to several people in law enforcement.   Officially, the Adventurers Club is just an urban legend.   Unofficially, they considered it something of a joke.   You can walk down any street in a poor neighborhood and find a kid who breaks more laws then they do.   The police ignore them mostly because they have more important criminals to deal with.   All the Adventurers Club’s secrecy is just the members’ way of feeling important.

RONHOLM:   So where is Paul?   Could they still be at that party?   How long do those parties last?

TT: From what I hear, days.   But they would leave when people were to drunk to or to sleepy to question anymore.

MRS WITISHAM:   It is only 7:30 in the morning, and they were partying late last night. They might not be in the office for hours.

(VELMA, MARY, and PAUL enter very excited.     VELMA and MARY are dressed in regular work clothes.   But PAUL is wearing a dinner jacket and looks like he sleep in it)

VELMA:   Or we might be in the office now.   We were hoping to get here before all of you so we could set up a presentation.     Paul has discovered who are enemy is!

MRS WITISHAM, RONHOLM, and TT:   So who is it?   Tell us what you found out.   How did you figure it out?

VELMA:   Wait.   Paul was the hero of the night.   He deserves a medal for this.   He should have the honor of giving you the details.

PAUL:   It wasn’t just me.   Mary is also the star.   There were three members of the Adventurers Club at the party.   And they were all so busy staring at her cleavage that they would have told me anything and not realized what they were saying.

MARY:   No, it was Paul who was the expert spy.   He pretended he wanted to join the club, and kept asking them about the “fringe benefits”.   If I didn’t know better, I’d say Paul just wanted to talk about parties, and the people we were talking to just kept volunteering information about how much money they make because some big-shot former member cuts them in on investment deals.

PAUL:   But the real information came from Renee, she hated her ex-husband, even though she still lets him do all her investments for her.     And she didn’t take any oath of secrecy to keep her from blabbing.   She was overjoyed that I was willing to flirt with her.   But Mary kept interrupting, so we could keep it at just a flirting level.   And when she hit the magic time between being too sober to blab and to drunk to talk, I asked her about her ex-husband.   Suddenly the whole story just came out on its own.

(VELMA all this time was typing into the computer attached to the big screen)

VELMA:   The enemy’s name is Winston Shandler.   Former member of the Adventurers Club and current head of Shandler Industries.   When our spies filled me in, I did some research.   He is known as Shandler the Shark.   He built his company up from almost nothing.   And he grows his company by merging it with other companies.   Every new merger is a hostile take-over.   And based on what Renee told Paul, every hostile take-over was bankrolled by his friends at the Adventurers Club.   He never uses his own money.

(As they are talking, MARY hit one button, and a large red circle appears in the center of the big screen, with the yellow boxes above it.   The name “Winston Shandler” appears in the circle, and 8 red arrows start moving out form the yellow circle and into all 8 of the yellow boxes.)

PAUL:   According to Renee, she and his second wife take most of his liquid assets, and he now has a new wife who is half his age and has an addiction to shopping.   So he really doesn’t have money of his own to invest.   Even Shandler Industries is mostly owned by members of the Adventurers Club and his ex-wives.

VELMA:   That is the real secret of the Adventurers Club; a secret its own members don’t even know.   Winston works very hard at making sure the Adventurers Club members have a good time and don’t get into any real trouble.   And the members continue to recruit new members to keep the flow of new money flowing in.   New money that Winston can use to invest in hostile take-overs.   They keep following his advice, because every hostile take-over makes them an obscene return on their investment.

RONHOLM:   But you left out the most important part.   Now we know who the enemy is, but we don’t know why.   What did you learn about why he is doing this?

PAUL:   Sorry Dad.   I have no idea.   Renee didn’t know either, I’m sure of it.   Winston just tells people where to invest and makes all the arrangements, and in turn, they give their proxies to him.   They don’t ask any questions about his investment advice, because they assume there is something illegal about the whole thing, which for them adds to the excitement.   And they can’t argue with the results, he makes them money on every investment.

RONHOLM:   If someone even suggested a merger to me between Shandler Industries and Ronholm Engines, I’d think they were crazy.   Every company has a carefully constructed business plan that makes them work.   Our plan is based on quality workmanship, high paid workers, and a very limited niche market.   That is very different from his plan of low paid workers making bargain priced hovercrafts.   If the two companies merged, both business plans would be thrown out of balance and the joined company would make less money then the two separately.   So where is the big profit he is expecting to receive?

TT:   I’m as lost as you are Dad.   In fact, more so, I never claimed to be an expert on mergers and business models.

RONHOLM:   Well let’s look at this as the war that it is.   We don’t know why he is trying to take us over, but we do know that he is.   And now that we know, we can go on the offensive and take the battle directly to the enemy.   But first, Corporal. (PAUL stood up at attention)     You did good work last night, and I’m proud of you.   I’m giving you a field promotion to Major and making you my new head of intelligence.

(RONHOLM salutes PAUL who smiles and salutes back.   Then both VELMA and Mary run up to grab either arm in an intimate manner and congratulate him.)

RONHOLM: Your first job will be to learn everything you can about Shandler Industries.   There has to be some fact about his company that we have missed that would explain why he picked us for his next hostile take-over.   Take whatever resources you need.   We found out who.   Now we need to know why.   And we need to know quickly.

(PAUL tries to salute again, but has trouble disengaging VELMA who is at his right arm)

RONHOLM:   And TT, you and I need to handle the next engagement.     The only person who knows why this is happening is Winston Shandler, and now that we know that he is the enemy, we need to confront him directly.   Are you up to a frontal assault?

TT:   If Mrs. Witisham can set up the meeting, I’m with you all the way.

VELMA:   If it is all right, Generalissimo, I think our new Major and his party date needs a few strong cups of coffee if he is going to try to put in a full day of work.   Come on, I’m buying.

PAUL:   Hey.   I was up all night.   I figured we would come here, give our news, then I’d go home to get some sleep.

VELMA: No dice Major.   That is not how it works in the working world.   That is why we drink so much coffee.

TT:   I didn’t sleep much last night either, OK if I join you three.

(VELMA, MARY, PAUL, and TT all exit talking among themselves)

RONHOLM:   You will notice Cynthia, that while Mary had on a different outfit from yesterday, my son was in his party cloths.   That means he stayed with her the whole night, even after the party was over.

MRS WITISHAM:   And you will notice that Velma knew the whole story and even had time after she heard it to research Winston Shandler’s background.   And all three showed up together this morning.   So it is just as likely that they went to tell Velma what they learned as soon as they left the party, and that Paul stayed with Velma last night, not Mary.   Both ladies are still in the running.

(The lights come down as MRS WITISHAM and RONHOLM prepare to leave.)

Act II:   Scene 1: (Two days later, The office of Winston Shandler of Shandler Industries)

(As the lights come up, we are in the office of Winston Shandler.   It has very rich and expensive furnishings, but doesn’t look very warm or comfortable.   Winston Shandler, a man slightly younger than RONHOLM, is sitting at his desk, dressed in an expensive grey suit.)

SECRETARY: (Coming through the office’s double doors) Mr. Shandler will see you now.   (She smiles at RONHOLM and TT as they enter after her, then she leaves, closing the double doors behind her.)

SHANDLER: Come in.   Come in.   Have a seat Cedric.   And this must be your son, Toby Troy; you go by TT if I remember.   Nice meeting you.   You are the one who’s in politics, correct.   You father is always bragging about you.

(They all shake hands and exchange polite greetings)

SHANDLER:   So to what do I own this visit?   I was somewhat surprised when my secretary said you wanted an appointment ASAP.   I hope everything is OK with you?

RONHOLM:   Everything is fine, couldn’t be better.   It’s just that your lawyers keep setting up meetings and breaking them.     I figured that if we were going to get anything done, I would have to talk to you directly.

SHANDLER:   (Looking surprised for a moment, then laughs loudly) Oh, my.   What you did to those poor lawyers.   I’ll have you know that two junior partners were fired because of your antics, three quit, and one senior partner has developed a nervous tick every time your name is mentioned.   I assume that is your craftsmanship TT.

TT: I do my best.

SHANDLER: Your best is very good.   I appreciate talent.   And I’m even more impressed that you have found me.   That took real talent.   But it doesn’t matter since I was thinking of connecting you directly anyway.   Clearly using lawyers wasn’t working, and I’m running out of time.

SHANDLER: (Leans forward and looks serious) Let’s cut to the chase.   At first, I planned a standard hostile take-over.   I buy enough stock to put me at equal footing with you, and then depend on basic greed to persuade enough other stockholders to side with me in a proxy vote. But watching you work, I decided I didn’t want to risk going head-to-head with you two calling a vote at a shareholders meeting.   So for the last month I’ve been working on a different strategy.

SHANDLER: (Leans back and smiles smugly)   So I’ve been calling in a lot of favors, and working a lot of stock trading magic, and today I’m in control of 51% of the proxies in your company.   I have won.   I now own Ronholm Engines.   Total buy-out.   Case closed.   I’m your new boss.   You work for me.   In business, as in life, big fish eat little fish.   And Shandler Industries has eaten Ronholm Engines.

(RONHOLM looks white and nervous.   TT also is shocked but quickly recovers)

TT: OK boss.   So drop the other shoe.   What are your orders?   What will that mean for Ronholm Engines?

SHANDLER:   The other shoe won’t drop until my big announcement at Shandler Industries stockholders meeting in 2 months.   But there are preparations to make before that.     The first is I’m replacing you as CEO and chairman of the board Cedric.   Then I plan a full merger with Shandler Industries. But that is the only personnel change I plan, and it is actually a minor one, since I want you Cedric to stay on as consultant to the CEO. I don’t plan to fire anyone; I want the company to grow, so I’ll need every worker I can get.     You will get a high salary; you get to keep your office and your staff.   You will still be running your company.   Or more exact, you will be running my company.

RONHOLM:   (Starting to recover from the shock) That is very generous of you.

SHANDLER:   Not at all, just good business.   But I haven’t told you the best part.   The merger will involve a sweetheart deal.   The exchange rate of shares of Ronholm Engines stock for Shandler Industries stock will be very generous.   Your personal fortunes will increase by 20% over night, even above the stocks current inflated price.   You, and my little investment group, will all make out very well on the deal.

RONHOLM: (Trying to look unemotional, but some anger is leaking out) So you are saying that everyone wins.   So what are our next steps?

SHANDLER:   We announce the merger to the press tonight.   I’m way behind on my timetable, and I want to start hiring new workers and expanding your plants immediately.

TT: Except you are forgetting one thing.   There are rules and procedures how these things need to be done.   And those rules state that any change in the CEO has to be voted on in a meeting of the stockholders.   So Dad is still CEO until that meeting.

SHANDLER:   A technicality.   I own the company.   So the merger is going to happen in any case, and I will replace Cedric as CEO with my own man.   If you want to stay CEO until we make it formal, I have no objections.   We will announce the merger tonight and make the formal change as soon as we can.

TT:   Sorry.   You might own the company, but as long as Dad is CEO, he runs it, not you.   He decides if and when a merger happens.

RONHOLM:   My son’s correct.   And I don’t think I like this merger idea.   So thanks for the offer, but no thanks.

SHANDLER:   Now you are just being stubborn for no purpose.   You can’t change the facts.   I own the company.   You will be replaced, the merger will happen, and there is nothing you can do about it.   Look, I know how you feel.   You’ve spent your life building up your company and all this is happening to fast for you.   I’m sympathetic.   But your best move now is to play nice in the sandbox so this process can be done with as little pain for you as possible.

RONHOLM:   All this might be true.   But until we have a stockholders meeting, I’m the CEO of Ronholm Engines.   And as long as I’m CEO, I do what is best for my company.   And in this case, I don’t believe your merger is what is best for my company.

SHANDLER:   I understand.   It is a matter of pride not to cooperate.   So we need to call this stockholders meeting as quickly as possible so you can wash your hands of any guilt.   That is easy.   You control about 40% of the stock by my calculations.   I control 51% of the stock.   That means that over 90% of the stockholders are in this room.   Legally, this is a stockholders meeting.   So I’ll just call in my pick for new CEO, and call it to a vote, and it is out of your hands.

TT:   Sorry.   That scenario doesn’t work.   The by-laws clearly state that we have to announce a stockholders meeting and allow a reasonable amount of time so every stockholder who wants to attend can do so.   As long as there is one stockholder out there whom we haven`t tried to notify, then this is not a legal meeting.

SHANDLER:   Just a technicality.   Any court will say that if I notify 90% of the stockholders, I have fulfilled my obligations.   So it’s a matter of interpretation.   And since I own the company, it is my interpretation that matters.

RONHOLM:   And I say, since I run the company, it is my interpretation that matters.   If we bring this thing to court, I can tie things up for months with legal motions.   So we are still left with my interpretation holding.

SHANDLER:   This is getting absurd. If I explain this to your board and top executives, they will all agree with me.   You are clearly being stubborn for no reason.   And since I own the company in either case, they will want to be on my good side.   So I can go in tomorrow morning and just start giving orders.   Is that really how you want this to go?   It’s not very dignified for you.

TT:   You are wrong about how people will react.   Remember that Dad is very well liked by his staff.   They trust him.   And they don’t know or trust you.   I’m smart enough to know that you wouldn’t be bluffing about controlling 51% of the proxies, but they don’t know that.   So given a choice between your word and Dad’s, Dad will win every time.   No matter what you do, Dad is still in control until the stockholders meeting, and there is nothing you can do about it.

SHANDLER: (Laughing again) Oh, you are good.   And I own the company now, so I can afford to let you have your small victory. Though I think you are foolish to cross me.   OK, I give up. Call your stockholders meeting, do it up fancy, I’ll approve as large a budget as you like.   And that way you can have a big send-off when you turn your company over to me.   I’ll even give a speech as a tribute to you as our departing CEO and founder.

SHANDLER: (Looking serious again) But do it quickly.   This merger is just a very small part of a much bigger plan and I don’t want more delays then I have to.   I have been working on this for 8 months and I won’t have it all hung up on something this minor.   Schedule the meeting as soon as possible.   And don’t give me any crap about I can’t order you to call the meeting.   Even if I only owned 10% of the stock, the by-laws are clear I can request a stockholder’s meeting and you are required by law to comply.

RONHOLM:   You are correct about that last point.   I don’t have any choice.   So I’ll go right back to the office and schedule that meeting.   But two weeks isn’t nearly enough time for our busy stockholders to re-arrange their schedules, and the same by-laws say that when I schedule a meeting I have to give our stockholders a reasonable amount of time to arrange to attend.   So I’ll be scheduling it for late December.

(SHANDLER starts to get red in the face)

TT: Dad, we can be more accommodating than that.   And I’m sure Mr. Shandler can get a court order to force an earlier meeting if it appears we are trying to delay things.   But three months is more than reasonable.   We have never scheduled a meeting in less than three months, so a court will understand that.

SHANDLER:   I told you, I’m not playing games.   You will do it in two weeks or I will be sure that when I do take over I will fire every member of your staff that you remotely care about.

TT: Well, since you asked so nicely.   We will make it two months.   And if you bring it to court, the fact that we were willing to be argued down from three months will guarantee that the courts will side with us.   So threaten all you want.   But it is two months and we are not going to budge on the date a second time.

SHANDLER:   Oh, I have threats far more compelling than a few simple firings.   But I would like to keep this friendly.   I already won, it’s my company and the merger will happen.   So I can afford to be generous.   You have your two months.     Two months or two years, there is nothing you can do to change the reality.

RONHOLM: (Dripping with sarcasm) It is so nice when we can work out our differences and all agree on things.

SHANDLER:   I agree.   But I insist on one thing, and this is not negotiable.   Ronholm Engines stockholders meeting must happen before my big announcement at Shandler Industries stockholder’s meeting.     I want the merger to be a done deal by then for everything else to move on schedule.

TT:   Agreed.   Now is there anything else?

SHANDLER: I’d love to invite you to lunch.   I really want to hear how you confounded my lawyers so badly.   But I have lots of work to do.   So I’ll need to say goodbye.

RONHOLM, TT, and SHANDLER:   Goodbye then.   Nice meeting you.

(The shake hands and exchange pleasantries, as the lights go down).

Act II:   Scene 2: (That afternoon, The War Room again)

(As the lights come up, we in the war room.   It looks about the same as it did the last time, except the other worker’s desks are all empty.   VELMA and MARY are at their desks, with PAUL sitting next to VELMA this time.   And MRS WITISHAM, TT, and RONHOLM sitting at center stage.)

MARY:   I don’t know how you could be so cool!   I would have broken down in tears after the first minute.

RONHOLM:   Oh, I was crying through most of that meeting.   Men have learned to keep the tears on the inside.   But it took all my self-control not to hit that grinning face of his.

VELMA:   I’d like to go and hit him right now.   But it seems to me we all should be getting our résumés ready so we have a job in two months.   Or do you plan to stay with the company after the merger?   Cause if you stay, I’ll stay, but I don’t like the idea of working for that bastard.

RONHOLM:   I’m sure you are not going to like working for him.   There was nothing personal on anyone’s desk, not even a picture of his or her family.   And when you made eye contact with someone, he or she would smile politely, but when you turned away, he or she would stop smiling.   I built a company where people smile all the time; I don’t want that to change.   I’m not ready to give up yet.

MARY:   But what can we do?   And why did you push so hard for the 2 months delay?   If he owns the company, doesn’t that mean we lost anyway?

RONHOLM:   In the Great War, there were many times when it looked like we had already lost.   But Celiose Cole never stopped fighting, never stopped trying.   The best I can do is follow his example.

TT:   Things are pretty bad for our side, but not hopeless yet.   Notice, he doesn’t really own this company; he just controls the proxies.   His friends at the Adventurers Club actually own the stock.   And they are only interested in making a profit, not in this secret plan of his.   So that is our enemy’s weakness, and a weakness we are ready to exploit.   The two month delay gives us time to go on the offensive, and maybe gain some ground.

RONHOLM:   When TT first showed up, he had me prepare a poison pill.   At the time, I thought it was to extreme a measure, but now I think it is are best weapon.   I’m very glad I listened to him.

(The three women look shocked, but PAUL just looks confused)

RONHOLM:   I’m sorry Paul. I keep forgetting that you never took any business courses in college.   A “poison pill” is a business term.   But in the military we have the same concept, only we call it a “scorched earth policy”.   If the enemy is gaining ground, you do whatever you can to make sure your enemy doesn’t profit from the ground they gain.   It is a drastic solution.   And I’m not sure how much it will help.   But Celiose Cole said that you don’t win wars without making some sacrifices.

VELMA:   So what is this poison pill of ours, and how bad is it going to get.

RONHOLM:   I have it right here.   As you know, we regularly have outside auditors examine our engines to be sure the quality stays high.   Standard procedures.   A month ago, we used a new company.   One who offers two types of audit, a very cheap one that just does a surface audit, and a very expensive one, that goes into detail.   I paid for the cheap one. (He hands VELMA a report).

VELMA: (Examining the report as everyone looks on).   I’m just skimming this, but it looks very scary.   Possible problems with the engine shields.   Possible chance of a power source explosion.   We inspect our engines all the time; we never saw any problems like this!

TT: That is because there are no problems like that.   Notice, the report just says these things are possible; it really doesn’t have any evidence of problems.   Its final recommendation is that we do a full audit so we can find out for sure.   It is all a con game to get us to pay for the expensive audit.

RONHOLM:   And these con artists have even implied that they might be forced to inform the health and safety department of the government if we don’t buy the expensive audit.   Clearly blackmail, but they do it very carefully so we can never charge them with anything.   They are correct, the law states even a suspicion of a problem should be reported to the government so they can oversee a more complete audit.   If this suspicion is reported, it will leak out and there goes our reputation for “unquestioned quality”.

VELMA:   So that is why you went to that firm.   You knew they would play this con game on you and you plan to use this report to ruin our reputation.

PAUL:   I understand the principle of scorched earth.   But isn’t this a little extreme.   What is the logic of destroying the company just to keep it out of enemy hands?

RONHOLM:   We won’t be destroying the company son, though it will take years to get back the reputation we once had.   Remember, we only sell to companies that make hovercrafts, and all our clients know how careful we are about quality.   Plus we have multi-year contracts and none is up for renewal in the next 3 months.   No one will cancel a contract simply because of a suspicion, and after the government investigates for the next 3 months they will give us a clean bill of health and then things start to go back to normal.

TT: But while the public does not buy our engines, they do buy our stock.   What little of it there is left to buy.   No one will buy stock in a company being investigated for producing unsafe products.   Within days, our stock price will go from its current unrealistic high to an all time low.   And it should stay that way until the government finishes its tests.

PAUL:   (Suddenly smiles) Now even I get it.   We start buying our own stock like crazy, now that it is so cheap, and once we get 51%, we own the company again.

(Everyone looks at him as if they are talking to a child).

VELMA: You are mighty cute, and you are smart, but you have no head for business darling.   If we could do that than so could Mr. Shandler, only he is already starting out ahead and he is richer than any of us.   And we will be a lot poorer in a few days, since all our money is tied up in a stock that is about to nosedive.

TT:   Not only that, but by releasing this report, knowing it’s effect on the market, we all will be guilty of stock manipulation.   That is OK, as long as none of us profit directly from the price change.   If we do this, then consider your stock locked.   You can’t buy or sell any stock in this company without being open to an accusation of insider trading.

PAUL:   OK, so I got it wrong.   But why are we doing this then?

TT: Because, you said yourself the only reason the members of the Adventurers Club do what Shandler wants is he makes them obscene profits.   How do you think they will react when a stock he recommended drops like a stone?   They will not be happy, and we are hoping a number of them will cut their losses and sell their stock before it goes down further.   We don’t care whom they sell to, just as long as it is not Shandler.   If enough of them sell, he will lose his 51% ownership, and we are back to fighting him off in a proxy fight.   At least we will have a chance.

RONHOLM:   OK.   So we are good citizens, turn over this little report to the government, and hope to cause dissention in the enemy ranks.   But that will only even up the sides.   We still need an advantage if we are going to win this war.

TT:   Let us review what we have learned.   The enemy wants us because he wants us to make engines for him.   He doesn’t want to sell us or sell off our assets.   Unless he was lying, he wants us to grow and therefore make more engines.   But if all he wanted was a bigger contract, then he could have gotten that with a lot less effort than this hostile takeover thing.   So he doesn’t just want engines, he wants something special that only we can make for him.

RONHOLM:   And he wants it before his “big announcement” in two months.   Something very big is happening then, and he wants everyone to know in advance that he has the resources and factories to build hovercraft engines before that.   Do we have any hint what that “big announcement” will be?

MARY: We have one hint.   I’ve spent the last three days studying up on every thing publicly available on the Shandler Industries.   They are hiring at a fast clip, every department is currently overloaded with personnel, and they are buying more land and office space.   There is every indication that they are ramping up for enormous growth.

TT:   OK.   So they have a wonderful new hovercraft design or they have won some big government contract.   That could easily be their big news.   But that still doesn’t explain why they need us.   Even if they plan to grow, it would be cheaper to buy more engines then to try to buy us.   So there is something we don’t know yet.

RONHOLM:   And we are not going to figure it just by talking.   We have to mobilize our troops and get to work.

(He stands to the side and everyone lines up in attention at center stage).

RONHOLM:   Mrs. Witisham you and our two generals here have to set up a new stockholders meeting and start getting the announcements out today.   I promised Shandler I would schedule it for just before his stockholders meeting.   And those are my instructions.   You are all witnesses to that fact.   But I will mention that if you happened to get the dates mixed up and accidentally scheduled it for after the meeting.   Well I would forgive you. (She salutes)

RONHOLM:   TT, you will take this poison pill of ours over to the government.   Help them get over their shock that someone actually obeyed the law and turned themselves in. Then do what you can to be sure the fact that we are being investigated leaks to the press.   You know better than anyone how to do that so it looks believable and newsworthy. (TT salutes)

RONHOLM:   Major, you are our intelligence officer.   Do you have any idea how we can go about finding out what this “big announcement” is.

PAUL:   I sure do.   The staff will be very curious as to why all the changes, and people love to gossip as to the whys behind things.   If I find a few bars near the Shandler Industries corporate offices, I’m sure to find a whole lot of employees who will love to chat.   I can say I’m an employee from a distant office, and act curious about why we are staffing up.   Or I can pretend to be a candidate for a job, and I am trying to learn more about my new company.

VELMA:   Sounds good to me.   And you will need backup.   So I’ll go along as your date or coworker.

PAUL:   I’m not sure Velma.   These are middle management drones.   My experience is when they get a few drinks into them, after a stressful week, they are a little out of control.   I’m not sure I can protect you well in a situation like that.

VELMA:   Protect me?   I’m going there to protect you!     I’m the one who worked in an office my whole life; these are my people.   It’s you I’m worried about.

MARY:   And I’ll continue to get investment reports and other materials and see if I can find any patterns that will give us a hint.

RONHOLM:   Mary take whatever budget you need, some of those investment information companies are very expensive.   And if you need a staff, go down to our sales department and recruit anyone you like.   Rainere knows, they won’t be able to sale our engines for the next three months.   (MARY salutes)

RONHOLM:   And me.   Both my sons are home.   And I’m so tired of traveling after months of running all over the web to avoid those lawyers.   So do I get to stay home and enjoy my family?   No, of course not.   Now I have to go and meet with each and every client personally to reassure them that this investigation is all much ado about nothing.

(RONHOLM salutes everyone and walks out)

RONHOLM:   (Talking to himself) Thank Rainere I don’t have any clients to visit in Todoburg.   (Leaves)

(Everyone moves to the desks to work.   And the lights go down).

Act II:   Scene 3: (Three weeks later, The War Room)

(As the lights come up, we are in the war room.   VELMA and PAUL are both looking a little nauseous.     MARY moves between them passing each of them a drink).

MARY:   Now drink up.   You two need more protein in your systems if you are going to go drinking every night.

PAUL:   Thank you.   You are an angel.   But I really didn’t drink that much, I usually nurse two or three beers for the entire evening, and Velma is drinking virgin marys most of the time.   The hard part is the noise.   My head feels like it will never stop pounding.

VELMA: I wouldn’t mind it if we actually were able to learn something.   But it is clear that everyone knows they are about to expand, and everyone has a different theory why. But no one really knows anything.

MARY:   Well tomorrow is Saturday, so you can’t do any spying then.   Paul, how about you come over and I bake you cookies!     What is your favorite type of cookie?

VELMA:   Sorry, Paul already promised to take me hover-skiing.

PAUL:   We can do both.   I’ll be beat after 6 hours of hover-skiing.   So Velma, we start early and put in a full day.   Then afterwards, Mary, you and I can bake cookies together.   My favorite type of cookie is cinnamon.   What is your favorite type Mary?

MARY & VELMA: That’s a coincidence. Cinnamon is my favorite type of cookie also.

(Their conversation is interrupted when RONHOLM and TT walk into the room, arguing)

RONHOLM:   I can’t believe the stock price could get so low.   I’m practically a pauper now.   This can’t just be the result of a little government investigation.

TT:   You caught me.   I have a friend of a friend who is an investigator for the security and exchange commission.   He called every major brokerage house in The Tasnica Republic and asked them what they knew about a conspiracy to manipulate the price of Ronholm Engines stock.   He didn’t tell them anything, it was all questions.   But they could see the steady upward trend that you noticed; looking at it that way it does look very suspicious.   And they see the sudden drop over the last two weeks.   So now, every stockbroker and stock adviser is telling their clients to sell any and all shares of Ronholm Engine stock.

MARY: Sir, could there be any permanent damage from this?

TT: Not in the slightest.   It is all rumors and panic.   Once the government investigation is over, the stock price will start to rise again, and then the brokers will start to calm down and forget the whole thing.

RONHOLM: So troops.   What have you to report?

(VELMA, PAUL, and MARY all stood up at attention).

PAUL:   We were just debriefing Generalissimo Sir.   But we have very little to report.

RONHOLM: Well let’s hear it anyway; you never know what will pop out.

PAUL: Every department is overloaded with employees.   There are being trained in procedures, and so on, but none of them has enough work to do.   That is especially true of the design department and facilities department.   The facilities I can understand, if The Shark – that is what his employees call Shandler – wants to build new plants, but doesn’t want anything to start yet.   But they at least are keep busy scouting plant locations.   The design department is just sitting on their hands; he has put every design on hold. That supports the theory that his announcement is some sort of new and improved hovercraft.

TT: Tell us more about the design department.   Maybe something will pop out.   Where is he getting the new people?   Is there a specific talent that is over represented?

PAUL:   Not that I have seen.   The designers are mostly experienced people that were hired recently.   They also have some very high priced scientists whom they moved over from research and development. I guess The Shark considers the design group more important.   They are very annoyed because most were right in the middle of lengthy projects, and now they are just sitting around waiting for this whatever.

VELMA:   Wait Paul?   It might just be my hurting head, but now that you say it, isn’t that strange?   If every department is growing, why move people between departments?   Especially when there is still work to do.   Mary.   Is the research and development department growing or shrinking?

MARY:   Every department is growing, but you are correct, research and development is growing only a little in terms of personnel.   So the design department is just a higher priority as Paul said.

VELMA:   But if they moved people out, and it is still growing, then who are these new people who are taking over the R&D department.

TT:   I see where this is going. Paul, any word on the R&D department. Who is working there?

PAUL:   I don’t know.   All their R&D is done in laboratories outside of Olivawk not here.

TT:   Mary.   What about their budgets.   What was R&D’s budget last quarter?

MARY:   Well that is strange.   Every department’s budget increased to allow the new employees, but R&D grew much more than most of them.

TT: Paul said some highly paid scientists were moved out, so the new people must be even more highly paid.

PAUL: Either that or that big budget is for one lump sum payment.   To a scientist who invented the perfect cup holder, for example.

RONHOLM:   What did I say?   Together we can solve any problem.   I think we are on to something.

PAUL: Generalissimo Sir. It appears I’ve been scouting in the wrong area, Sir.     Request permission to set up an observation post in Olivawk and look for bars frequented by Shandler Industries R&D scientists Sir.

MARY & VELMA: (Quickly, together) I request permission to go with him as back up, sir.

(TT and RONHOLM can’t help but giggle at their enthusiasm, and the two women look embarrassed at being too obvious)

PAUL: If it is OK generals, I’ll go this one alone.   We not talking high society or office drones here.   We are talking science nerds. All three of us are out of our element.   If the generals go with me dressed as they usually do, they will be the center of attention.     They are just too good looking.   And even if they dress down, every science nerd I ever met was a little bit of a horn dog.   So they still will be spending their time fending off passes.     Either way, they will be quickly discovered as an outsider.   And then these people will not open up.

VELMA:   If you say so Major.   You are the intelligence expert after all.

MARY:   We will miss you.   Hurry back.

RONHOLM:   Go with my blessing Major.   I’ll give you a company expense account.   Spend what you have to.   And Generals, we can use you to help to get ready for the stockholders meeting, it is only about a month away now.

(PAUL salutes as he leaves the room and RONHOLM and TT leave after him as the lights go down).

Act II:   Scene 4: (8 days later, The War Room)

(As the lights come up, we in the war room.   VELMA and MARY are working and TT, MRS WITISHAM, and RONHOLM are sitting looking board.)

RONHOLM:   Paul said to meet him here at 11AM. It is 11:15AM, where is he?

MARY:   Oh Paul is always late.     He’ll be here.   (RONHOLM makes a gesture at MRS WITISHAM at the comment, who scowls back.)

(PAUL enters the room in a rush).

PAUL: Oh, good, you are all here.   I had a very successful week...

(Before he could finish, both MARY and VELMA rush up to him to say hello.   VELMA gives him a big bear hug, but breaks it off quickly.   MARY stands nearby pointedly looking shy, so PAUL gives her a quick hug also.)

VELMA:   Rainere!     We missed you.   This place is dull without you Paul.

(PAUL, a little embarrassed at the warm hello goes to MRS WITISHAM and gives her a quick hug, then shakes hands with RONHOLM and TT).

PAUL:   As I was saying, a successful week.   I don’t know exactly what The Shark’s big announcement is but I have a name:   Ivan Alotian.

RONHOLM:   So who is Ivan Alotian?

PAUL:   Their new head of R&D.   He started exactly 9 months ago.   For the first 6 months of his job he was working on a top-secret project.   “It” is still something no one talks about.   But they all think “It” is very interesting and are proud of “It”.   Clearly “It” is Ivan Alotian’s brainchild and they were all hired because they each had a specialty that would help Ivan with “It”.   They are all well paid, but not enormously so, so that huge budget is for “It” or Ivan or both.   For the last three months, they have been working at the big debut of “It” and all the lectures and publicity that will happen right after that.   And when is this big debut?   You guessed it.     Shandler Industries stockholder meetings in a month.

TT:   That’s amazing Paul!   You got a lot of information.     Any clue what “It” is?

PAUL:   Not a clue.   They were very careful not to talk about “It” in public.   Or maybe they did, I’m not sure.   You see, “Nerd Scientist” is a language only vaguely related to our own.   Asking questions was impossible; I don’t speak the language.   The best I could do was sit quietly and pretend that I knew what they were talking about.   Eventually they just assumed I was one of them and weren’t careful in front of me.   But I only understood one word in five.

VELMA:   I think Paul did wonderfully.

MARY:   So do I.

PAUL:   And there is one more fact.   I’m not sure if it is important or not.   But one night Ivan came to the bar to meet with someone.   I didn’t get to talk to him; he was focused on his meeting and left when it was over.   But at one point I got close enough to take a very good look at him, especially his sleeves…

TT:   You don’t mean…

PAUL:   Yes, round cufflinks with a gold “A” in the middle.   He is a member of the Adventurers Club, or he used to be.

MRS WITISHAM:   Am I the only one who thinks it is odd that this is a secret society that prides itself on breaking the law; yet all the members wear these cufflinks in public to advertise, “Hey look, I’m a lawbreaker and a member of a secret society.”?

TT: But that is the whole point Mrs. Witisham.   Remember, until recently none of us knew anything about their club.   Most people know nothing about it so the cufflinks hold no significance at all.   Only other members and a few prospective members will know what they mean.   So the cufflinks pose no danger to them or their group.   But the type of person, who would break the law just for the thrill of doing so, might easily get a charge out of advertising the fact in a safe way.

RONHOLM:   Paul, you did very well!   You see, when you put your mind to something you can accomplish a lot.   If you put your mind to some business, you could really make something of your life.

PAUL:   Oh Rainere!     Do we have to have this same argument over and over again?   I agree, I can probably do anything I set my mind to do, at least as much as the next person.   But I like my life.   And I don’t know why I have to set my mind to doing anything but what I am doing.   I have a good life; that is all I want to make of it.   I know you disagree; you have made your opinions very clear.   So can we move on and not repeat the same argument again?

(Everyone acts a little embarrassed at Paul’s emotional reaction.)

RONHOLM:   Paul, I know we go over this topic a lot.   I just thought…

TT:   Dad.   Paul is back home now, at least for a few days.   Don’t you think we can have this discussion some other time?

RONHOLM:   You are correct TT.   We have a war to win, no fighting in the ranks.   We have a lot of information to process.   Velma, Mary, Paul, and Cynthia can work on finding out more about this Ivan Alotian.   We have to find out more about him and figure out what “It” is.   Without knowing what we are up against we still are at a disadvantage when the stockholders meeting finally happens next month.   TT and I have another job to do.   Winston Shandler, ask me for a meeting tomorrow morning, and if it is OK TT, I really would like you there.

TT: No problem.   This meeting will be easy.   What can he say or do? The meeting is when it is, and I’m guessing most of his proxies have been sold by now.   So the real battle will be at the stockholders meeting.   Anything he will try before that will just be him trying to psych us out.

RONHOLM:   That is what I figured.   But let’s not assume he is going to take all this lying down.   He didn’t get his reputation by allowing himself to be sucker punched.

(RONHOLM and TT walk out as VELMA and MARY crowd around PAUL asking him questions.   The lights go down)

Act III:   Scene 1: (Next morning, The office of Winston Shandler of Shandler Industries)

(As the lights come up, we are in the office of Winston Shandler.   SHANDLER is again in the same position as before.)

SECRETARY: (Coming through the office’s double doors) Mr. Shandler will see you now.   (She smiles at RONHOLM and TT as they enter after her, then she leaves, closing the double doors behind her.)

SHANDLER: You two have been very busy.   I really hope you continue working for me after the merger.   With you two on my side, I don’t think there is anything I won’t be able to do.

(TT and RONHOLM sit politely)

SHANDLER: This should be a short meeting.   Mostly because I don’t have much more to say, but also when I argue with you two I seem to end up giving away much to much.   Don’t worry; I’m not angry.   In your shoes, I’d be fighting just as hard as you are, and I can respect that.   When the merger happens I still plan to keep you on as long as you are willing to stay and will do what I can to make you happy with the situation.

TT:   IF the merger happens.

SHANDLER:   WHEN the merger happens.   I wanted to make one thing very clear, just so you don’t get any allusions and cause more trouble.   I still own your company.   I control 53% of the proxies now, and I personally own a great deal of the stock myself.   You see, your plan worked perfectly.   You guessed that my investors would get cold feet if the stock price dropped suddenly, and you were correct. Many of them I persuaded to stay anyway, they trust me.   But for those that didn’t have the courage, I made them a very generous deal.   They could sell me their stock, at the current market value, which was dirt low thanks to you.   If it goes down, I lose; if it goes up, I share the profit with them.

SHANDLER: In the end, I bought a lot of stock in your company, including some shares that just were to inexpensive to ignore.   And I didn’t lose one single proxy.   So your plan failed and I still own Ronholm Engines.

(TT and RONHOLM looked on as dispassionately as they can)

SHANDLER:   The next reason I called you here: Is to ask why did you break your word?   From everything I heard about you Cedric, that shouldn’t happen.   You promised to schedule your stockholders meeting before mine.   Why didn’t you?

RONHOLM:   But I did. Your meeting is on the 25th; our meeting is scheduled for the 19th, almost a week earlier.   I gave the instructions very carefully to my secretary.   TT will testify to that fact.

SHANDLER:   But my meeting is on the 15th.

RONHOLM:   Really?   I can honestly say that this is the first time I heard that.   My secretary sent me an email the next day specifically saying your meeting was on the 25th.   If I remember, you never mentioned the date of the meeting or sent me an invite, so how was I to know it wasn’t on the 25th?   But it is an easy and honest mistake and she rarely makes mistakes of that type.   So I think I can forgive her.

SHANDLER:   You can forgive her if you like.   But since I own the company now, I can fire her just as soon as the stockholders meeting is over.   But what is done is done.   We can’t reschedule at this late date, so I have a dilemma.   I have a “big announcement” to make at my meeting, and I need to reassure my stockholders that I have the facilities within the company to make hovercraft engines.     But you refuse to accept the merger until I force it on you at the stockholders meeting.   You still refuse, am I right?

RONHOLM: Call me stubborn. Call me an old fool who can’t face reality.   But yes, I still refuse.

SHANDLER:   Actually, I would call you a fighter who will keep fighting until the last.   That is a trait I have myself.   My meeting is 4 days before yours.   Nothing will change much in those 4 days.   So come to my meeting and announce the merger.   Everyone knows I’m the king of hostile takeovers.   If I say we will soon have a merger, the stockholders will be afraid it might not happen.   But if you say there will be merger, and you are behind the deal, they will believe it.   Then my big announcement will carry the proper weight.     Assuming you haven’t pulled off a miracle before then, can I count on you to help me out in this way?

RONHOLM:   That will be four days before our stockholders meeting.   A lot can happen in 4 days.   I’m afraid….

TT:   My father will be happy to come to your meeting and announce the pending merger.

(RONHOLM looks at his son questioningly, but then shrugs.)

RONHOLM:   What my son says.   I will be happy to come to your meeting and announce the pending merger.

SHANDLER: I told you this would be a short meeting.   You will be first on the agenda.   After you introduce the merger, I will make my big announcement.   I’ll look forward to seeing you both there.

(SHANDLER stands to shake both their hands, and they shake hands and prepare to leave)

Act III:   Scene 2: (Much later that same day, The War Room)

(As the lights come up, we in the war room.   VELMA and MARY are at their desks, with PAUL sitting next to MARY chatting.   TT, MRS WITISHAM, and RONHOLM are in heated discussion in the center.)

MRS WITISHAM:   TT, so why did you give in so fast.   Are we really going to give up on the 15th rather then fight it out to the 19th?

TT:   We will fight it out to the very end.   But he really wants that announcement made at his meeting.   If we fought him on it, he would probably find a way to force the merger through before the 15th.   And we aren’t giving up that much.   You have to think like a politician, you can support an issue one day even if you plan to be against it the next.   It isn’t lying; it is just accepting that you are allowed to change your mind when conditions change.

RONHOLM:   I call it lying.   But TT is correct.   We have to pick our battles.   Celiose Cole said that a strategic retreat to a better battlefield or time is not a retreat, it is a move forward.   I’ll announce the merger for him and play nice.   But I won’t give up my company until I have to.

TT:   Paul, Velma, Mary?     We told you our whole story, as depressing as it is.   What news do you have?

VELMA: (Talking into phone) Eric, we are ready for you now.   Just come on in.

MARY:   We did a complete profile on is Ivan Alotian.   He is the son of a wealthy scientist, the inventor of the digital socks or some such.   He spent some time as a spoiled playboy but he also did a lot of schooling, he has a PhD in physics.   Eventually he got into the space industry and became an expert on “inertia dampening field theory”.   He published a bunch of papers, but mostly he focused on the practical.   He wanted to develop a better and cheaper inertia-damping generator.

(ERIC walks in and sits down so as not to interrupt)

VELMA:   Good, Eric is here.   Late last night we got enough information on Ivan to know we were over our heads.   So I sent out an email to everyone in the company with a scientific background.   It asked anyone who knew the name Ivan Alotian or the field of inertia dampening to respond.   We got a lot of responses.   But since Eric is the only person who actually met Ivan, I picked him and had him fly here this morning.   He has been spending the day reading every article available that was written either by Ivan or that mentions Ivan.   He is now our Ivan expert.

MARY:   To continue.   He worked for the Starfine Corporation for many years in their R&D department.   But 19 months ago, he left with very little warning.   I called the Starfine human resources department.   They don’t tell you much, company policy, but I got someone who was feeling chatty.   She said Ivan left the company because his whole project was cancelled and he chose not to be reassigned.   Since then he dropped out of sight.   Didn’t go to conventions, didn’t publish papers, and didn’t even seem to be looking for a new job.   But he did rent out a small laboratory in Maranda.   And 9 months ago, he joined Shandler Industries and became their new head of R&D.   But his new job was kept very quiet, and he still made no public appearances.   That is what I have in a nutshell.

RONHOLM:   Nice that you could help us out with this.   Eric, start off by telling us what an inertia-dampening field is?

ERIC:   It is a force field, similar to the force field that makes a hovercrafts work.   It is used in spacecraft that have to accelerate and decelerate very quickly.   Take for instance a ship that will accelerate to .9 the speed of light.   In order to do that and not kill everyone on board, the ship must accelerate very slowly, taking about 3 years to reach the desired speed. &nbs